Junky's Bio

The Rotogods Persona

The Junky is known for winning all of our leagues and for never having sex other than jerking off to home videos of Xach's mom hanging laundry. One of the original founders, the Junky is known for constantly bending other Rotogods over in trades (though he vehemently disputes this). Xach is his Numero Uno, Grade AAA, Triple Platinum Prison Bitch for all fantasy trades. He now just walks into Junky's room and pulls his pants down.

The Junky resides in Boston and is a diehard Celtics fan above all else, although the Sox and Pats aren't far behind. As far as roto goes, he's basically wiping the floor with our asses. It's strange not to see his name at the top. So it's only fair that the last time he had sex, people were using the term "Reaganomics". And the Junky doesn't discriminate, oh no. He's been shot down by women of all races and sizes. He's an equal opportunity born again virgin.

The Junky will school you on rap and Dylan, and if he ever gets his ass in shape will show you a thing or two about being a point guard. Plus, you can leave him alone with your sister and be assured nothing would ever happen!

Real life

Plan Specialist. Full-time student at Boston College, where he studies English. Resides on the South Shore of Massachussetts . . . and in contrast to The Fool, is currently unspoken for. Hey Ladies!

Favorite sports entities

Celtics, Red Sox, Pats, Bruins, Steele Reserve (three-time Rotogods Fantasy Baseball Champions), University of Michigan, and I'm starting to dig on them BC Iggles.

You wish you had

My CD collection . . . my roto skills . . . my any-sports-video-game skills . . . my grade point average (honors society BABY!) . . . my court vision . . . my Jetta . . . and a dope website like this one to work on too.

I wish you had

My midsection that expands at an alarming rate . . . really hot sister who digs me (TiVo has two!) . . . warned me about the troubles of taking on unnecessary debt (though I still wouldn't have listened to you). . . . not voted for George Bush, if you did . . . brought beer . . . another really hot sister who digs me and is into experimentation (did I mentionTiVo has two?).

Fantasy specialties

Baseball, basketball, hockey, and yes, now football too.

Tendencies

A guru at baseball and basketball in roto formats . . . rarely makes a move in haste . . . tends not to respect others' abilities. This leads to hurt feelings. Awww . . . aggressive in trade pursuit; will track you down and make you respond to proposals . . . a corrupt commissioner . . . tends not to get laid since moving out of his apartment . . . tends to win every league.

Favorite sites