Guest Columnist's Bio

What we think of our guest columnists

Hand-picked by our award-winning editorial staff, our guest columnists are the best in the bathroom publications industry. Too lazy to write anything for ourselves, we ran our first guest article on Tuesday, October 25, 2005. Our first guest article was selected for its eloquent use of the term "baffled retards". Not coincidentally, this is a term we often use to describe our guest columnists. Then again, this is also a term we often use to describe TiVo and The Fool.

Due to the constraints of telecommuting, our guest columnists are unable to pay their dues by conventional means such as buying us coffee, picking up our dry cleaning, working in our busy customer care call center or providing Ape's personal beat-box theme music. In order to compensate for these otherwise unacceptable shortcomings, each of our guest columnists must make a $100 contribution to our Rotogods.com 'Vegas Vacation, Off Track Betting, Keno and Beer' fund.

Through their hard work and dedication, our guest columnists have earned a special place in our hearts. And, more importantly, each guest article represents a day when our talented, overworked staff got to sit on its ass and do absolutely, positively nothing.

To submit a guest article for our consideration, please send your "manuscript" to: editors@rotogods.com

Guest Columnist Hall of Fame

Because Rotogods.com guest columnists are not important enough to have their own archive pages, we will list each of them here in chronological order of their first Rotogods.com publication dates.

Columnist's name:TK
First published: October 25, 2005
Favorite pastime: Feeling and interpreting the size of Father Time's asshole
Articles:
- Espn Hires Shit-Throwing Monkeys For Sunday Night Football Broadcast, Oct. 25, 2005