Did the Patriots lose or Broncos win? A conversation among Rotogods

Written by TiVo on January 15, 2006

Loyal readers, today's content is really an age-old discussion with a this-week twist. When one team plays well and the others plays poorly, who is responsible for what? Did one team win a game as much as the other lost it?

Well, we aren't going to answer any grand philosophical questions today, but we are going to call each other funny names.

All you need to know to enjoy this little one-act play is that El Amin and Ape are rabid Patriots fans, and aren't married. TiVo digs the Eagles, Dr. Furious is a J-E-T-S Jets fan and Fadda been liking the Packers ever since Lombardi told a few blockers to "get a seal here, and a seal here" so he could run up the middle.

Parental discretion is advised. And no we are not homophobic, just unimaginative with some of our insults.

[The date is Sat. Jan 14. The time, shortly after 11 p.m. The setting, a thread named after Ricky's mother and the NFL playoff. Strange but true.]

[TiVo enters the "room"]

TiVo: Well, seeing Vinatieri miss a FG then Denver add a TD, it's looking like the Patriots are going down.

Honestly, they got a lot out of this year's team and survived some injuries and the losses on the coaching staff. I'm no Denver fan or anything, but now that people will start to deboard the Patriots' collective jock, we can see the Pats for what they are ... a great team that can be beaten.

Especially if they fumble it all over the frickin place.

Should be a factor next season if healthy. I don't see why not.

As far as the Skins going down, I actually napped through most of that game, but Gibbs and Gregg maxed that team out. It is not that good, but they got a lot out of it. If they can add a complementary receiver (Hi Rod Gardner!) and keep the defensive pieces together, they might be a factor again next season.

Seattle, Denver, Indy/Pitt and Carolina/Chicago.

Yuck.

Thoughts?

[El Amin and Father Time enter]

El Amin: Well, if I was gonna say the pats didn't choke a bit I'd be dead wrong. Whaddafuckwiddafumbles???!!!???, but seriously, that pass interference call was unmitigated bullshit. Same with the call on Champ Bailey's fumble, as well as the false start on Elam's 50 yarder, that takes a concrete 17 points off the board. To be honest, I've never seen officiating take a bigger bite out of an NFL game in my life.

That said, these are things that happen. it's pretty unbelieveable that they ALL happened tonight, and Jeff Tripplett (may he burn in hell) definitely looked a little too definitive and joyous proclaiming PI and 'The visiting team will be charged a time out'. Fuck him, he ruined this game.

Pats fumbled, sure, but really, put the helmets of Gondor on them and watch (or a Cheesehead), they got hosed.

Now I'm okay that they lost, it'll prolly save my marriage, in fact it may guarantee that they have the drive to win the next 1 (or three), but if Denver thinks they won because they were the better team I'd have to call that suspect.

The only thing that really sucks is that now sports radio is gonna blow until next super bowl victory, and I need that in the car.

BTW

every one on the Pat's nuts? Giving them props? Why wouldn't they be, the fuckers won mad superbowl's recently. When your Eagles, Packers, Jets win even one (that's right, just 1) you fake thug RGs will be crying for the props the folllowing year.

Might not happen for a while though, I think this game just cemented the Pats determination through the rest of the decade.

Father Time: Denver was better today. So solly.

[Short pause]

Father Time: The pass interference call was a bad one, though. The Champ Bailey call, from what I could see, was too tough to overturn either way, so the call had to stand. Hella play by Ben Watson, regardless.

TiVo: Well, I knew we'd get an appearance by bitter Pats fan, and I'm sure that won't be the last one. This has nothing to do with the Eagles, Redskins, Jets or Packers, so save that.

The Patriots certainly did a lot to beat themselves today, and the call on Asante was bullshit, but you said it yourself El, those things happen. Blaming the refs? You sound like Junky watching a Celtics game.

That's all Fadda and I have ever said, that the Patriots are human, beatable. I'm glad they played a shitty game like everyone else does once in a while, and it was in the playoffs. The incessant dick-riding is annoying. And before you dismiss it as Patriots hate, trust me ... if/when the Colts roll through this this shit like whoa!, the dick-riding is going to be just as annoying, except this time it will bother all of us.

Spare us the "the league wants to see the Colts win" and "the refs have it in for us" and just give us your thoughts on how the Patriots played.

I could see it strengthening their resolve for next year, but I also think there really isn't a dominant team in football right now. There are several good but flawed teams that could win it all, and the Patriots are one of them, assuming nothing drastic changes heading into next season.

El Amin: Fuck you, ya dopey also ran 'wait is this a toothpick?, naw it's a cock!, oh, hell, I'll use it anyway' mother fuckers.

Y'all are the dick riders preaching all this 'glad to see it finally happened to 'em' shit. 'Haters and Busters!, that's the game, Haters and Busters! (said in the fashion of the Belichick 'Slants and incuts' line from SB XXXVI (that's 36 for those of you whose teams don't get there)), When the opposing team gets two gift 1 yard TDs how's a team supposed to play???

The Broncos to there credit salted away a gift win. Do I wish the Pats had played better, sure I do, deboard my balls. Fadda, you say Denver out played them, it's pure BS. They out gained Denver all game, if they hadn't gotten behind and realized they were in the middle of the biggest screw job in a while, they might have kept their composure a bit better.

I know you faggots don't really care that they lost, but you both really need a smack if you think the manner of it wasn't a bit funky. i never said shit about the Colts being favored so I'll eat that one when you both gobble a veiny dick.

Like I said earlier, IN THE PART YOU CLEARLY DIDN'T READ, The Pats lost, it was bound to happen at some point. They got a case of the yips and started fumbling, that was killer, if they hadn't done that and been more composed they would have won the game in Patriots fashion. I definitely give the Denver defense credit for making Brady rush. Still the Pats adjusted well against the blitz in the second half. If they didn't fumble they would have won the game. That's my take.

Hopefully they have better luck with injuries next year and a decent draft/free agent period. If they do, Y'all will be suffering through lots more Patriots 'dickriding'.

Speaking of Dick, why don't you eat one?

[All three go to sleep. Sun rises on Sunday]

Father Time: You dumbshit.

First of all, both TiVo and I admitted the pass interference call was bullshit. So spare me the "if you can't see it wasn't a bit funky, I don't know what to tell you" routine. It was a bad call. Should have been a no-call. As for the Bailey play, forgive me if I don't jump on the anit-Pats conspiracy bandwagon. I've already said what I thought about that one. And it has nothing to do with the man in the grassy knoll. Give me a fucking break.

You need to wake the fuck up and realize your team blew it. Plain and simple. The Pats outgained Denver? Are you kidding me? Christ, El, I didn't realize outgaining a team meant you played the better game. What a stupid fucking argument. Especially from a New England fan. The Pats aren't considered great because they had a great offense. They are considered great because they play their best when it counts most. They make the plays. Brady is compared to Montana because he always comes through in the biggest games. I can't believe someone has to explain this shit to you. YOUR. TEAM. BLEW. IT. Outgained nothing. Denver....fucking Jake Plummer ...made the plays down the stretch. Mike Anderson made the key runs. Rod Smith had the important receptions. Elam's the one who didn't miss field goals. Fumbles? Yeah, ya think? No shit, El. If they don't turn the ball over, they could have won. Brilliant analysis. But they DID turn the ball over. Five times. Brady was picked off in the end zone. At a point in the game when it was still very up in the air. And he fucking was Favre-like throwing into triple coverage on his last pick.

Two muffed kicks. A key Faulk fumble, two Brady picks, a missed field goal. THAT's why they lost. THAT's how Denver played better. That and a good enough defense to bend but not break and hold when they had to. They were the ones who didn't fuck up in the big game, who made the big plays when it mattered most. Not New England. Not this time.

Save me your Roswell conspiracy bullshit. The bottom line is you don't fuck up that many times in a big playoff game against a quality team on the road and win.

[Worm, BartenderMan peer in window]

Worm: El Amin, the angry drunk.

BartenderMan: Yikes!

That special time of the month for you?

[Later in day, Colts and Steelers game gets interesting]

TiVo: Wow, the whole (newspaper) office thinks the fix is in now that they reversed the Polamalu INT that was pretty obviously the just-about-the-nail-in-the-coffin pick with 5-something left.

The Colts are gonna score here.

I haven't read the board yet, but I'm expecting to be ripped.

[TiVo reads El Amin's fire-and-brimstone speech]

TiVo: Yeah, I'm not even going to tempt sentiEl into another rant with a response. You said it all Fadda.

Apparently when your team never loses, you take it really hard and say lots of irrational shit.

I'm sure this isn't over, because Ape and Junky have to put their 2 cents in, but I have a TV on my new desk and it's 21-18 with 4:20 left.

(already been caught on Rotogods by new boss. I swear this place is both the bane of and reason for my existence)

TiVo: Oh, the league wanted the Steelers to win because Joey Porter got those two sacks!

TiVo: Wait. Maybe the league does want the Colts to win.

Bettis fumbled! This place (the new office) is erupting!

TiVo: I think Tagliabue just completed that pass to Reggie Wayne.

And Gene Upshaw-Vanderjagt is about to kick this FG.

[TiVo continues talking to himself]

TiVo: Best ending ever?

Bettis off the hook, Vanderjagt hooked it badly, there is justice!

Holy crap!

[TiVo continues talking to himself]

TiVo: Wow, Steve Smith is killing the Bears, but having your DBs keep falling down is a crappy way to lose a playoff game.

Of who's left, I think I want to see Carolina win it the most, followed by Seattle. I could give a crap about Chicago (except for Lovie Smith = black coach wins a super bowl), Pittsburgh and Denver.

A couple more things that popped into my head.

El Amin wrote: if they hadn't gotten behind and realized they were in the middle of the biggest screw job in a while, they might have kept their composure a bit better.

I know you faggots don't really care that they lost, but you both really need a smack if you think the manner of it wasn't a bit funky.

Yeah, the league loves to see the Patriots lose. They're so unmarketable and boring to watch.

Hey, there's this commercial with superstar Tom Brady and five of his linemen. And then there's a Visa commercial with Corey Dillon and Richard Seymour. And wow, isn't that Deion Branch talking to Suzy Kolber in the Diet Pepsi commercial?

El Amin wrote: If they didn't fumble they would have won the game. That's my take.

This sounds a lot like "if McNabb didn't throw three picks in the Super Bowl, the Eagles would have won."

I'm pretty sure Ape was all over me for that logic. I wonder if he'll slay you for it, El.

(knows)

[it becomes Monday]

[SuperApe arrives with a double-batch of 'rational fan']

Father Time wrote: Another good quote: "It's going to be hard to watch those games," Brady said. "Can both teams lose?"

Pats lost. Maybe they beat themselves, maybe the refs helped, but they still lost. If they hadn't turned the ball over, none of the calls would have mattered, so you gotta put it on the Pats. Denver didn't turn it over 4 times.

I hate that they lost, and I will be rooting for the Seahawks the rest of the way because I don't know a soul from Seattle.

Saturday night sucked, but whatever.

Someone else gets to win the SB this year and the Pats will have a great shot to come back with the best team in football next year if they get Harrison healthy, and their O-Line, get a solid draft that actually has a first round pick in the 20's, and maybe some free agents that aren't brokedick faggots like Duane Starks and Chad Brown.

I see no reason why the Pats can't come in next year as a preseason favorite and the best team in football.

On to spring training.

Father Time: They'll certainly be one of the favorites. Getting healthy will be key.

Ape: Yeah, I'm just trying to block that game out of my mind. It sucked.

But I can see why teams that turn it over and then have a little ref type controversy come away so bitter trumpetting the "the better team lost line". I could allow myself to feel that way as a fan about the Pats/Broncos game if I didn't think that line of thinking was totally for suckers.

As is, it is for suckers and the Pats lost. If they had had more of their team together all season, maybe they could have been more cohesive and not had those mistakes, but they didn't have the confidence that they were the better team and the played unconfident--at least that's how I explain all the mistakes.

Denver played with confidence and didn't make mistakes. That's why they were better. The Patriots have spent plenty of the last for years being better in that aspect. It trumps talent as long as you win, and Denver did.

Hard to see it any other way for me despite the fact that I hate it so fucking much.

[scene]

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-- Written by TiVo on January 15, 2006