Week 11 betting advice from a god

Written by Bartender Man on November 19, 2005

Well, it’s week 11 and the resident ‘tendah is back to serve up some more delectable NFL predictions. Last week I went 7-7 with my picks. Had Trent Green and the Giants special teams not crapped their pants so badly, I’d have easily been 9-5, but what can you say? Can’t cry over a spilled martini now, can we? Well, maybe you would, but I can always make you another one! And with that sip, on to the picks!

As usual, you need to keep in mind that starters may change, betting lines may move, the weather may be bad (remember that wind in Chicago last week? But even then, I covered), and someone could turn in a diaper-loaded performance ala Trent Green. The home team is in caps and the beer is on ice:

Carolina –3 over CHICAGO
The Panthers probably have the most well-balanced team in the NFC. Their defense should easily contain the anemic Bears offense.

TENNESSEE +4.5 over Jacksonville
The Jaguars tend to play to the level of their opponent, with the exception of last week’s pussy-pounding of Baltimore. But we can’t compare McNair and Co. to Boller and Co. now, can we? Plus the Titans are coming off a bye week and tend to play well at home.

CINCINNATTI +5.5 over Indianapolis
Two high-powered offenses going up against each other. I think Indy will win this game, but 5.5 is a lot to give to a powerful team like the Bengals at home. Plus, Palmer, Johnson, and Co. will get up for this one.

New Oreans + 9 over NEW ENGLAND
I can’t see a depleted Patriots team blowing anybody away at this point. New Orleans will hang around in this one.

ST. LOUIS –9.5 over Arizona
The Rams always seem to burn me, but I’m still liking them to put away an ugly Arizona team.

Tampa Bay +6 over ATLANTA
As we saw last week, Atlanta isn’t invincible at home losing to the lost Packers. The Bucs always seem to put the handle on Vick, and I suspect they will again tomorrow.

Oakland +6 over WASHINGTON
I like Oakland’s chances of hanging around in this one with Moss getting healthier.

DALLAS –8 over Detroit
As of now, it looks like Harrington will be getting the start. Dallas is too well coached, and at home, to not man-handle a Harrington-led Lions team. If Garcia starts, I think Detroit MAY be able to hang with the points.

GIANTS –7 over Philadelphia
The Giants should’ve won last weeks game against Minnesota, but apparently had some blackouts on their special teams units. Look for New York to rebound big against a McNabb-less, hated rival.

Miami +2 over CLEVELAND
If not for a couple poor advised fade passes looking INTO the sun, Miami very well could’ve won last week’s close game. Brown and Williams will help the Dolphins keep up in this one.

SAN FRANSICO +12.5 over Seattle
This and the Jets/Broncos game were the hardest to pick due to the high spreads. Since the 49ers are at home, I’m going ugly and taking the points.

Buffalo +11 over SAN DIEGO
I’ve no doubt the Chargers will win this game, but I know Marty will somehow make this game closer than it should be.

DENVER –13.5 over Jets
Two touchdowns are a lot to lay, like Star Jones, but being how Denver is at home I’ll give it up like Tara Reid.

Pittsburgh –3.5 over BALTIMORE
Maddox may be starting for the Steelers, but he can’t be any worse than Boller. Plus, Ray Lewis and Ed Reed are still out.

HOUSTON +7 over Kansas City
Kansas City should blow Houston away, but K.C. can’t seem to take care of their opponents like they should, just like last week against the Bills. Houston should be able to hang around at home.

Minnesota +4.5 over GREEN BAY
This has let-down game written all over it for Green Bay. Of course you could maybe say that about the Vikings as well, but I since they’re still contending in the division, this game means more to them.

There you have it. So finish your drink, slide off your barstool, and stumble to your bookie. And if you win some nice dough, don’t forget to tip your bartender.

-- Written by Bartender Man on November 19, 2005