A look at some NBA players fresh out of the gate. Savvy?

Written by Xach on November 03, 2005

What are you, shitting me? We got HOOOOOOOOOOPS!

I knew I wasn't alone in la-la land when, in the third quarter of tonight's game, I heard a Knicks radio announcer say, "It's so nice the NBA is back! I finally got bored of baseball at the end man, and I don't know anythng about hockey." I'm rather enjoying the hockey season so far, but neverheless, bravo Announcer Man. I feel you.

The NBA is back, and I'm so excited that I feel like I'm screaming, "Lard Ass! Lard Ass!" at a pie eating festival.

Yep, I took a sebatical, but fear not my roto brethren, the Xach is back. I'm employed, my fantasy teams all suck, and I'm ready to kick up the dust here at my favorite website to bring you some of the writing I like to do best: yammering about fantasy sports.

Let's put the top down, turn the ignition, and take this old site for a ride.

NBA: Opening night disappointments to keep an eye on

Coming into the season, some folks were speculating that Nate Robinson would be getting some major burn with the Knicks. I was one of the hopeful few who believed this. The fact is that Robinson, good though the press may have been coming out of camp, is still a second round pick in his rookie season.

Steven Hunter may be playing 35 minutes a night in Sammy Dalembert's (hopefully brief) absence, but unless you're only looking for blocked shots, his production isn't encouraging after two games.

With 13 points and 9 assists (total!) in two games, Mike Bibby looks like Mike Shitty so far. I'm not in the know here, but for anyone who hoped to see some excitement early on from him, so so so soooo solly!

Speaking of "so solly," you can waive Desmond Mason now.

For all the extra playing time, Shane Battier's numbers on the night were not encouraging. Well, that's not entirely true. Everyone on the Memphis bench is probably more encouraged that if they work hard they can have some of his minutes, per usual.

Antonio McDyess played 10 more minutes (29) than Rasheed Wallace (19). I don't care how good Rasheed is. 19 minutes is only, like, half a game, and half of Rasheed Wallace is Rash Wall. No one wants one of those.

Not only didn't Al Jefferson start, but he picked up four fouls in 13 minutes. What does it all mean?!?!?!?! I only heard the game on the radio, but when two Knicks announcers finish off a post-game wrap up by saying they feel confident that the Celtics have a worse team than the Knicks this year, well, as a C's fan it makes your heart sink a little. Okay, a lot. Actually, I won't lie: I sat down to take a dump just then and my heart shat out. Man, I hope the C's aren't worse than the fucking Knicks. And I also hope Al Jeff gets more burn in the near future.

Two straight stinkers out of Kyle Korver? Ruh roh! Let's hope that gets fixed in a hurry.

Some of us would like to have seen more than 22 crappy minutes out of Stromile Swift. Hopefully Juwon Howard's 0-9 performance will lead to more Swifness.

Joe Johnson decided to show up and pour a single assist out of his ass. Thanks, Joe.

NBA: Opening night fire starters

Deron Williams mak uh me happy tonight. Around halftime, I sent an instant message to my man Worm that said, "I thought Deron wiliams was suppose dto be the starting PG, and here he is on the bench." An hour or so later, I was singing a diferent tune. I'll take my 18 points and three three pointers in 26 minutes of action. Williams played the whole fourth quarter, and apparently was quite the spark plug. A great first night, so far as rookie debuts are concerned.

Hip Ramilton opened up the season with 37 points. Le mikey!

Andrew Bogut looks like a fucking beast right now. 17 boards in his second NBA game. How you like dem apples?!

Sam Cassell also made the sound of the beast. 35 points, 11 assists, four threes ... It's no joke. Neither were his team-leading 41 minutes.

Chris Duhon made a splash tonight as well with a triple double. Worth watching? Abso-rootin-toot-doodley! He needed an extra frame to get the job done, but who's complaining?

Ricky Davis dropped 27 points in his season debut as a Celtics starter. He have a career year? No unpossible!

Smush Parker is looking nice with his. Is that a 6/0 assist/turnover ratio?

Leaving out no-news guys like Lebron James, Ill cap this list off with Gerald Williams's 28 points and five steals. Hello, moto.

NHL stuffin'

Since I've been in Siberia for the past month or two, the roto world has not yet learned that I am finally giving hockey a piece of my time. Now's a terrific time for the unitiated to get into roto hockey, because after a year without the NHL roto hockey veterans has more catching up to do than usual. This means your learning curve will not present an insurmountable obstacle. Wow, say "insurmountable obstacle" ten times quickly.

I'm still learning the ropes in a lot of respects, but I feel comfortable reccommending Mikka Kiprusoff as a nifty buy-low candidate right now.

Hmm, hockey. Fuck it, I'll lay off on the rest of my hockey thoughts for the evening. Thank goodness it's finally basketball season.

-- Written by Xach on November 03, 2005