Analysis of our NBA league's draft: Team 2 of 14
Written by Timberlake on October 19, 2005
Recommended reading: NBA Mock Draft analysis, team 1 of 14
OK, this is TiVo, but since I didn't actually make fun of any of these clowns' teams, I threw T-Lake the bone here. Plus, Schoolboy has a fresh new bio that he probably wants to draw attention to.
It's a mock draft to you, but this is our real league; what the Rotogods play for. No money. Just bragging rights ... and if you knew how much we were online, you'd realize how much those rights were worth.
Basically, we're picking up at the second pick in the draft, which means the frickin chump that finished 13th last season. Our ass-grabbing commissioner lost his second-place-on-lockdown roto mojo last year, and then botched the online draft. Dick.
| Ricky's team (Name: The Commishithead) | ||
| Pick | Player | Real-life team, position |
| K | Andrei Kirilenko | F, Utah |
| K | Stephon Marbury | PG, New York |
| 3. | Brad Miller | F/C, Sacramento |
| 4. | Ben Gordon | G, Chicago |
| 5. | Zach Randolph | PF, Portland |
| 6. | Tony Parker | PG, San Antonio |
| 7. | P.J. Brown | PF, New Orleans/Oklahoma City |
| 8. | Shane Battier | SF, Memphis |
| 9. | Nenad Krstic | F/C, New Jersey |
| 10. | T.J. Ford | PG, Milwaukee |
The Commishithead: A typical Ricky fantasy basketball team. I always love his balance, but I think he may have (to a lesser extent than last year) an issue with production. Basically, difficult categories like percentages, to’s, and blocks he has tons of (thanks AK-47) but I don’t know if he has the scoring and board power to contend, maybe if everyone stays healthy.
Rank: 7th
Stupid Asshole Former Commish: Brad Miller . . duh. Ben Gordon . . wha???? Seriously, that was probably the worst pick of the draft. I mean I like Ben Gordon’s game, but Cuntino Mobley went 14 picks later and will be a more productive player. Rick redeemed himself by getting a high ceiling player Randolph next. Parker is a solid PG with good percentages and has improved each year. Brown and Battier are solid UTIL guys and Curly Kristic is a solid scoring threat from the C spot. Draft Grade: B-
Ricky's unbelievablyfucking retarded suicide squad (because he should kill himself): Marbury, Kirilenko, Brad Miller, stay healthy and you're in the top half with those three guys, especially if you get something from Zach Randolph. Parker, Gordon and Brown are solid, but limited, between the three of them though they offer help in most categories. The key is getting full seasons from all these guys.
Predicted finish: 8th
6. Ricktard: This squad could be very good, I'm still scratching my head over that Tony Parker instead of Sam Dalembert pick since another shot blocker would really help this team. Still AK47 should provide a high volume, and if healthy could be a top 3 fantasy player. Brad Miller will more than make up for his lack of Blocks and will augment the numbers of Marbury. Battier and PJ brown are great glue guys who don't hurt in any category, and a healthy Zach Randolph provides tons of scoring and rebounding and a heavy FT%. Ford and Krstic both have real upside and are long athletic and bouncy. I'm still shaking my head over Tony Parker.
And last but not least...
DUH DUH HI MY NAME ARE RICKY: AK-47, Stat-filler Marbury, and the Bard. This is how you start a draft, my friends. And as we all know, the next move, probably more important than any other move in a draft, is to pick a bench player fourth. DUH DUH HI MY NAME ARE RICKY. At least he didn’t pick the NBA’s ultimate combo head case/walking injury next in Zach Randolph. DUH DUH HI MY NAME ARE RICKY. LeTony Parker has a hot ass girlfriend. Shane Battier has a weird fuckin’ head. Both should contribute nicely. Not a bad squad, and T. J. Ford for a final pick is a potential steal. Krystic also should benefit from the Kidd back and healthy again. Although Ricky will probably bench him because he thinks he should be a guard. DUH DUH HI MY NAME ARE RICKY. 8th PLACE.
Format: Rotisserrie
Categories: FG%, FT%, 3PTM, PTS, REB, AST, STL, BLK, TO
Roster Positions: PG, SG, SF, PF, C, Util, Util, BN, BN, BN
Nice work Teeves, nice photo T-Lake.
Posted by: Doc Fury at October 19, 2005 06:30 AM