Grain and Grape

Written by Worm on October 06, 2005

Last night was a long night in the dorm for this Worm. After my rotology classes were over, I had to start getting it in gear for our big-time super important basketball draft on Monday. So many numbers, so little time. And then, of course, the Yankees-Angels game was scheduled to start at 10 pm, Eastern time. Couldn’t miss that.

So, how does one prepare for hours and hours of endless sports consumption and analysis? Well, I bought a six-pack, naturally. There’s certain drinks you look for in certain situations, and a six-pack of crisp, refreshing, and o so nutritious beer seemed to be the perfect answer in this situation. Something not strong enough to derail me from serious work and game-watching, but with enough flavor and potency to keep me from getting bored or bogged down in a feeling of pointless work. You know that feeling? It’s easier to come by when you’ve already spent your morning and afternoon doing pointless work.

Did a six-pack of beer turn out to be the right answer, though? Oh, yes. I was eagerly cracking open number six as Chien-Ming Wang started to sputter, and Al Leiter came in to finish off the Yankees. Good times.

My point is this: It’s all about having the right drink in the right situation. Beer was definitely the right call last night, at least for me it was. But even the kind of beer was important. Something too flavorful, like an IPA, or a hefeweisen, could have distracted me from the matter at hand. Something too strong or heavy, like a Guinness, could have put me to sleep before the second inning, or worse yet, forced me to stop drinking, leaving me high and dry. Something too light, on the other hand, like a light beer, or a Horse Piss Carbonated Draft, might have let the boredom and ennui catch up to me.

Given the circumstances, my choice turned out remarkably well, and I’d recommend a six-pack of Asahi Super Dry to anybody else in similar straits.

But while beer is an exceedingly useful drink, for its easy drinkability, (crucial for any lengthy social drinking occasion,) as well as its underappreciated nutritional content, there’s another similar standby which nobody should neglect. I speak, of course, of that equally ancient tasty beverage, the fine and fragrant bottle of wine. Wine, being a somewhat stronger potion than beer, wouldn’t have suited my needs last night, but it offers another nice angle on lengthy social gatherings, without making you fall over like those liquors at the bar will.

In a situation where reflection and audacity work in your favor, I would always go with wine. Beer will make you cheery, but wine has the remarkable ability to take you to a higher plane. Well, it makes me high, anyway. It doesn’t have the same nutritional capacity as a good beer, but wine, if you drink it appropriately, doesn’t carry the same price tag as other hard drinks… by which I mean, it doesn’t make you sick. All these drinks, of course, will make you ill or stupid if you overindulge. But wine and beer stand above the rest in supporting a long-term buzz.

Hopefully you know all of this already. If you didn’t you can thank me later. Just always remember that there is the right drink for the right moment. And with their great versatility, there is even the right kind of beer and the right kind of wine for a given moment. Now I have to figure out what I’m drinking tonight. After I finish my homework, that is. Stupid, lousy, no good…

Oh, hey, go vote in this poll!

For further information and advice, I recommend looking here.

-- Written by Worm on October 06, 2005