Fantasy Football: Week 4 whirlwind

Written by TiVo on October 04, 2005

Now that those damn fantasy baseball leagues are history, we can focus on improving the football teams we felt so good about on draft day. But before we get to the AFC and NFC all-buy-low-on-these-disappointing-motherfuckers team, let's link you to this week's studs and duds.

That's right, I said link. I'm gonna stop acting like I'm auditioning to be a fantasy writer for a mainstream publication, and look at Week 4 the way no one that has a boss to answer to will. Shit, that's what you come to Rotogods.com for. Time is money, and both are scarce ... so if NFL.com already compiles the top performers this week and every week, why not link to them?

Bam. Now ya know!

At Rotogods, we don't pretend to be your one-stop site for everything fantasy. We don't get paid enough for that shit. We do dole out advice, since we're here answering each other's questions all day (in a much more smart-assy manner, mind you). But if you're looking for next week's schedule, bye weeks, good plays/bad plays and such, we recommend our fellow grassroots fantasy cats at CFG.

More work that other people did that I commandeer
CBS Sportsline's Dave Richard reminds you to get your trade on, no matter what your record is. (My link is league-specific, so look it up your lazy-ass self). He's right though. You've seen enough to trust your gut on most players. Now is the time to rape and pillage. (P.S., winners rape and pillage. Losers fail to send counter-offers). Hell no, I'm not telling you who to trade for. I don't know your team, your scoring system or who the prison bitches in your league are.

USA Today Sports Weekly's Matt Pitzer reminds you that since Kerry Collins, Trent Green, Eli Manning and Daunte Culpepper are on bye this week, some scrub-a-dub QBs might start in your league this week. Since real teams are starting Brooks Bollinger, Josh McCown, Kyle Orton and the like, you better hit the FA wire ASAP if you have one of those big guns and weren't prepared with a backup.

I'm sure these guys love that we're sourcing them.

Monday Night Ulcers
El Amin and I had fun going back and forth about my five-point lead over him, while he had Ahman Green going. Green, a major disappointment this season, totaled 36 rushing yards and 23 receiving yards before sitting out while injured or because Green Bay was so far behind ... but while that stuff makes fantasy fun, our matchup is really going to come down to whether Todd Heap gets credit for a tackle he may or may not have made on Sunday.

I was winning in five of my seven NFL fantasy leagues after Sunday, but most of the leads were tenuous. I also put a 30-point lead against Green, Stephen Davis, Donald Driver and Robert Ferguson that I surely lost to Junky, but probably held on with a 6-point lead and Keary Colbert (picked up solely because they were playing Green Bay) going against Green. I had Davis and Jake Delhomme holding a lead as well, but other dude had no players going, so I was furiously rooting against my own fantasy player scoring. And Davis reached the end zone twice ... probably the difference in my game with Junky.

This after a perfect Sunday in which Priest Holmes got 80 yards and a TD against my favorite team before I even turned the game on, then sat back as my squad stormed back. That's a rare win-win. Last week, the Chiefs were trouble as I had Trent Green going against Priest in a close game in one league, and Priest against Green in a close one in another.

From way back
Brett Favre continues to be a great fantasy play, as his god-awful defense gets him way behind, then he tries to rally them to victory. He had 303 yards and 4 TDs on Monday, coming from down 26-7 to nearly beating Carolina (32-29). Marc Bulger is lighting shit up as well, as the Rams refuse to run despite having two diesel RBs on their roster, especially if they get behind. Better for Bulger owners ... 40-for-62, for 442 yards, 2 TDs and 3 picks on Sunday. Makes dudes like Shaun McDonald and Kevin Curtis better plays than some teams' No. 1 receivers, especially with Isaac Bruce banged up.

Rack 'em
If you haven't picked up (or even heard of) Cardinals kicker Neil Rackers, you might be too late. Dude nailed six field goals the other day, including four longer than 40 yards. I looked to see if he was an FA in all seven of my leagues, but no haps.

Oldie but goodies
More fodder for the never-use-high-picks-on-anything-but-RBs theory: In Sunday's eight early games, nine receivers went over 100 yards. Among them were late-round picks like Joey Galloway, Jimmy Smith, Donte Stallworth and McDonald, not to mention Plaxico Burress and his 204-yard, 2 TD day. In all, 15 receivers went over 100 this weekend.

(Don't) Pack it up, pack it in
We Rotogods love to rag on unabashed Packers lover Father Time, but our incessant teasing of his 0-4 squad packs little punch since Green Bay could very easily still win its division. Jacksonville is 2-2 and further out of first place, especially since they're chasing the Colts. The Rotogods were joking about a 7-9 playoff entrant a week or two ago, and that's looking likely. 6-10 maybe, if they all go 3-3 in division games?

NFC North standings
Lions 1-2
Bears 1-2
Vikings 1-3
Packers 0-4

Somebody's got to get hot.

Een love with Eli
Saw some ESPN poll about the best QB-WR tandems in the game. P. Manning-Harrison was on top, followed by McNabb-Owens and Palmer-Johnson. But how the hell did E. Manning-Burress beat Collins-Moss? Your mama and Randy Moss beats that craptastic Giants duo. Blecch. (But with Tiki and Shockey, all Giants are looking like good fantasy plays these days)

Spiggity spark the Dutch
Charles Rogers? Meet Travis Henry. But stay away from Quincy Carter.

Obscure stat of the week
Jake Plummer's thrown no picks in his last nine quarters.

No, I am not lying. Stop laughing.

Message board quote of the week
"Seriously, Kerry, Tony Gonzalez, and Curtis Martin can all go suck a fuck . . fucking bums all of them."
-- Beagle

Hey, Beags, thanks for the great lead-in to our all disappointment teams. So far, so bad:

AFC all-disappointing-as-a-motherfucker team
QB Chad Pennington (Whatever dummy drafted him shoulda had a backup plan)
RB Jamal Lewis (A disgusting 2.5 yards per carry, but I don't believe I could voice displeasure better than Father Time did in his NFL Busts article)
RB Curtis Martin (226 yards, 0 TDs)
RB Chris Brown (210 yards, 0 TDs)
RB Domanick Davis (188 yards, 0 TDs)
RBs Duce Staley/Jerome Bettis (still waiting on that first carry, guys)
WR Andre Johnson (We ain't mad at you. How about Houston uses its first five picks on OL next year so David Carr can get time to throw to you and handoff to Domanick?)
WRs Eric Moulds/Lee Evans (The Losman naysayers were right. The duo has 18 catches for 194 yards and zero *bleeeeeeecch* I just lost my lunch.)
TE Tony Gonzalez (129 yds., 0 TD ... Ditto Jamal Lewis, re: the NFL Busts article)
D Houston (I'd crack on Buffalo here, but Terrence McGee saves them. And the Texans have zero takeaways. WTF? Zero?)

NFC all-disappointing-as-a-motherfucker team
QB Daunte Culpepper (One good week of four. HM M. Vick, R. Grossman)
RB Kevin Jones (147 yards in three games; next four vs. BAL, CAR, CLE, CHI)
RB Kevan Barlow (We didn't expect much, but annoying bastard always does just enough to not get replaced)
RB Ahman Green (Has barely 200 yards, 0 TDs. Awesome idea to let those guards go via free agency!)
RB Michael Bennett (A fourth RB on our team? Why not? Guys named Mewelde, Ciatrick and Moe just made him fourth RB on his own team)
WR Javon Walker (Can you blame him for getting hurt? Yes!)
WR Nate Burleson (PE's "Don't Believe the Hype" is his theme song)
WR Michael Clayton (Fewer fantasy points than Patrick Crayton)
TE Eric Johnson (We thought maybe you'd get 75 catches on Tim Rattay's "ahhh, don't sack me!" throws)
D New York Giants (Keep jizzing over Eli and the offense, 'cause they're No. 31 on D, allowing 425 yards a game)

The good news is, you might be able to pry some of these now-chumps from their owners' greedy mitts, and hope they salvage the final 3/4s of their seasons. Crazier shit has happened.

Got beef with those teams? Chime in on our message boards, e-mail TiVo at TiVo@rotogods.com or keep it to your damn self.

More Week 4 reaction and Week 5 anticipation here.

Get or give the latest updates on NFL players here.

-- Written by TiVo on October 04, 2005