NBA Team Rankings That Don’t Suck

Written by Timberlake on October 02, 2005

Everyone loves a good list nowadays. And rankings are the king of lists, especially in sports. The only problem is most rankings suck. These ones don’t.

Contenders

1) San Antonio Spurs: Pretty much a no-brainer to start the season. Even the “experts” can get this one right.

2) Miami Heat: The chic idea is that Miami won’t be able to mesh all of their talent and personality. The 2004 Lakers are often brought up to show the problems of this approach. One problem, the 2004 Lakers still made it to the finals.

3) Detroit Pistons: Still have that great starting 5 in their primes. The loss of Brown’s coaching ability will be offset by the loss of his media circus.

4) Phoenix Suns: Stoudemire is a beast. His play against the Spurs in the playoffs was unreal. They will be different this year without Johnson and Richardson, but they will still be very good.

5) Indiana Pacers: Deep, talented, tough, experienced, and a good coach. They are the Pistons of the last couple years minus the championship appearances.

Playoff Teams

6) Denver Nuggets: You can’t ignore the second half of their season last year under Karl. And Anthony, while not the star James and Wade are, should have a better season than last year. Also, they have pieces to make a move at the deadline.

7) Cleveland Cavs: Some people would say this is too high, but I don’t buy it. Lebron was 20 last year and is arguably the best in the league, and GM Danny Ferry added talent and shooting to a squad that had neither last year outside of two players.

8) Houston Rockets: Probably a floor general away from being a contender. They have the two stars, and have added depth and a breathing power forward.

9) New Jersey Nets: Should be devastating in the regular season with Kidd feeding those wings on the break. Depth and interior play will catch up to them in the playoffs.

10) Sacramento Kings: Some new pieces in Reef and Wells, but same great starting five. Look for Peja to rebound from an off year and earn a big contract.

11) Dallas Mavericks: The Mavs have obviously undergone some changes the last couple years, but still have a lot of talent and Dirk. Josh Howard is severely underrated in the league.

12) Boston Celtics: Many people may disagree with this placement, but what can I say, I wear green colored glasses. Seriously though, Payton was oooold and the point guard situation should not experience much of a dropoff, not to mention the C’s were an above .500 team last year (29-27) before acquiring Walker. With the young’uns having another year of experience a sixth seed doesn’t seem out of the question.

13) Chicago Bulls: The Bulls are still young, but they play good defense and have a solid leader in Kirk Hinrich. They may fall off a little, but they have too much talent to miss the playoffs.

14) Seattle Supersonics: This is the playoff team pick I have the least amount of confidence in. I thought they would be one of the worst teams in the league last year. While I do not think they will approach three-seed success, I am banking that Ridnour/Allen/Lewis will return them to the playoffs for a first round exit.

15) Washington Wizards: The nod goes to the wiz for the last playoff spot in the east. Arenas, Butler, and Jamison will score, and they have decent complimentary players in Haywood, Daniels, and Jefferies. Hey Kwame, good riddance.

16) Golden State Warriors: I know this is a fashionable pick, but I can see why. If they stay healthy they have the opportunity to be the Nets lite, but with a better bench (Pietrus, Diogu).

Possible Playoff Teams

17) Philadelphia 76ers: If Webber stays healthy and regains his Sacramento form the Sixers have a good shot at replacing one of the Boston/Chicago/Washington group. Um, that is why they are currently on the outside looking in.

18) Los Angeles Clippers: Mobley, Maggette, Brand is a good start. It will be interesting to see Livingston’s development this year, but they didn’t upgrade enough (or at all) in the offseason to earn a playoff appearance.

19) Los Angeles Lakers: They have the Zenmaster, Kobe, and Odom. That’s nice, but they have the worst point guard situation in the league and Chris Mihm is their center. The roster is unbalanced and needs serious work.

20) Milwaukee Bucks: A lot of people think the Bucks are vastly improved and will make the playoffs. I don’t see it. They have three good swing players, but Bogut (rookie) and Ford (injury) will have to prove to me they can have serious impacts before I believe the hype.

21) Minnesota Timberwolves: This team went downhill fast. I guess that’s what happens when two of your best three players get old in a hurry and are run out of town. Any team with KG is a threat to make the playoffs, but he will have to unleash another MVP campaign to get this roster into the top 8 spots in the west.

22) Memphis Grizzlies: They made the playoffs last year and still have their best player in Gasol, but I think they are ripe to be replaced.

23) Utah Jazz: A potential sleeper. They have a great coach, but would need Deron Williams to be the real deal immediately and the frontcourt to live up to its promise. Probably a year off from the playoffs.

24) New York Knicks: The roster sucks, and still the New York media drums up the playoff expectations. I’ll put them here as a nod to Larry Brown, but that is all they get.

Trash

25) Orlando Magic: This team plays no defense; Grant Hill will never, I repeat never, have a fully healthy season; and Steve Francis is definitely not The Franchise. Dwight Howard would need to become the next Amare now to improve on this.

26) Portland Trailblazers: A lot of young talent, but this is basically where the Celtics would be if they had no Pierce, no Davis, and even less experience.

27) Toronto Raptors: The Raptors are just silly. Their GM/coaching tandem makes me feel sorry for their fan base. At least Bosh is good, but that’s about it. Villanueva will make Araujo more popular I guess.

28) Atlanta Hawks: Some intriguing players are being gathered here. Of course, they all play the same position and most are painfully young. Johnson should lead them to a few more wins than last year.

29) Charlotte Bobcats: Felton guarantees the playoffs. Um, buddy, 20 wins only gets you the playoffs in college. This is the big time.

30) New Orleans Hornets: I love Chris Paul, really wanted the Celtics to end up with him some how. I hope he has fun playing one-on-five every night.

For more Rotogods.com NBA pre-season analysis, check out Ape's Offseason NBA Primer

-- Written by Timberlake on October 02, 2005