A Wednesday Switcharoo, The Fool Style
Written by The Fool on September 28, 2005
The Fool’s final weekend as a faux bachelor came and went, and the soundtrack that should have been blaring was “I Drink Alone” by George Thorogood. A tad pathetic, yes, but The Fool managed to consume a few of those brews in the presence of friends other than his imagined ones. But the point of this Fool disclosure is to tell you this Morning Offering switcharoo is brought to you by the fine folks at Vassar, who already are working the Worm too hard, and my pals at Horton Vineyard. Hopefully this will be as smooth as their Cabernet Franc The Fool is enjoying as he fights carpal tunnel to bring you his insights a day earlier than usual. Here’s hoping our fans don’t get too confused.
Along those same lines: Is it odd to own “Born to Run” but not “Born in the U.S.A.”?
Jump on the ball
We like to pimp the little dogs as often as we can, because the big dogs like ESPN already get enough run. So with the aid of our friends over at KFBA.net, I stumbled upon the Fantasy Basketball Blog, where they have mocked up the first three rounds of a fantasy basketball draft.
Their first 10 picks went in this order: Kevin Garnett, LeBron James, Dirk Nowitzki, Shawn Marion, Tracy McGrady, Amare Stoudamire, Kobe “Therapist” Bryant, Tim Duncan, Andrei Kirilenko and Dwayne Wade.
So that’s two or three centers, two of them runners; Three G/Fs with similar games and score-first mentalities; Two do-everything forwards; Another potential do-everything forward coming off a injury; and a high-scoring guard who shoots no 3-pointers.
Interesting, no?
Hard to argue with any of the picks until the final two; Kirilenko should drop with the injury risk, but he was a monstor early last season, blocking shots especially. And Wade is amazing, for sure, but the lack of 3-point shooting knocks him down a notch in my book; that’s why I traded him last season.
The real centers went in the second round (Big China, Big Aristotle, Big Whitey and Big Puncher).
Cheating, stealing, cursing
The world’s greatest football team in the whole universe, the New England Patriots, took a few extra minutes to steal a win from the Steelers in Pittsburgh last weekend. “Oops” the NFL says.
The greatest coach of all time in the high pantheon of univeral football geniuses, Bill Billicheck, had a little bit more to say during the contest of course. Just don’t expect to read about it in Monday Morning Quarterback.
From the original account in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette:
There were strange plays at Heinz Field yesterday, but nothing as out of the ordinary as Patriots coach Bill Belichick chasing Steelers trainer John Norwig away from one of his injured players.
As tackle Matt Light lay on the turf with a serious leg injury in the second quarter, Norwig ran over to see if he could help, as opposing trainers often will do with serious injuries.
Belichick walked out on the field and told Norwig, in no uncertain terms, to get away from his player. Norwig walked off the field and could be seen laughing about it with several Steelers doctors on the sideline.
As the story developed, it turned out that Belichick actually cursed at the Steelers’ trainer . . . surely, Norwig must have been carrying a crowbar, looking to finish the job, pro wrestling style, right? Methinks the coach needs to lighten up a bit and let the trainers do their job.
Secondly, Peter King should be embarassed. Unless he is intentionally hamming it up in his weekly MMQB columns, he is becoming more like the parody of himself that the funny lads over the Mighty MJD posted a few weeks ago. Seriously. He was sitting at a football game in Minnesota on Sunday weeping into his keyboard that he couldn’t be in Pittsburgh to carry Tom Brady off the field after another tainted win. King actually wrote this line: God, I wish I had I could have convinced the bosses to send me to Pittsburgh instead of my colleague Mike Silver. Jealous much? Ease up on that man-crush, Latte Lover.
Peter, perhaps if you didn’t embarrass your bosses with such drivel and drool, you’d get to pick your games. But SI can’t take the chance that you’ll go to another Patriots game and end up trying to break into Tom Brady’s hotel room later that night looking for “the perfect way to end the column, if you know what I mean.”
Ten things The Fool Thinks The Fool Thinks:
1. Tom Brady should have a bodyguard next time Peter King gets anywhere near him.
2. One week, Sports Illustrated editors should forbid King from using the following words in any of his copy: Patriots, Red Sox, New England, Brady, Belichick, Vinatieri, U2, oh and for good measure, Favre.
3. Speaking of which, Brett Favre must be jealous. At least he still has Madden.
4. Peter King was first in line, with flowers and leather chaps, when news of Bill Belichick’s separation from his wife hit the papers.
5. The Fool used to read a football column called “Monday Morning Quarterback.” Now he sometimes skims the new Penthouse Patriots Letters forum over at SI.com which for some odd reason is called “Monday Morning Quarterback.”
6. It must have been tough for Peter not to waste a couple more pages on the great story of Charlie Weis calling “pass right.”
7. A Google search of Peter King, Bill Belichick is very telling. And you may want to make it a Google News Alert so you'll be one of the first to know when an arrest is made.
9. Want to read an entertaining weekend wrapup of the NFL? Then go check out TMQ.
10. Black coffee is the best
does TMO stand for The Morning Offering?
Posted by: Worm at September 28, 2005 06:46 AM