The Fool's Weekly Wrapup

Written by The Fool on September 09, 2005

So I get home from a long day of work and a brief stop at the local watering hole, where I helped Father Time celebrate his 52nd birthday, and the following awaits in my Rotogods inbox:

Fool, you gay lesbian herb, eat my ass (offers strawberry yogurt)!!! I'll match you noffering for noffering starting tomorrow, and rotogods will be grabbing their crotch looking at your lack of manhood, yeah baybee!

Seems the portly, hardly working El A Twin didn’t like getting called out for his lack or Rotogods production. Perhaps you recall El Amin’s classic – also just his seventh – column for this fine Web site back on August 10 where “Everybody been warned” he was going to starting writing and sharing and hating and pontificating . . . more like defecating, babysitting, stomach-expanding, G.I. Joe home-video making and otherwise doing jack shit. So yes, consider that challenge accepted, Elle. Class, get your spell-checkers ready.

Man, all I wanted to do was come home, have a beer and read Colossus: Bloodline, but noooo . . . . .

Another thing to keep in mind: If the El A Hobo actually backs his challenge (or whatever the hell that was), the Rotogods reader is the ultimate winner since you’ll have at least three new things to read today. So kudos to you, fans, but don’t cross your fingers.

Other things on The Fool’s mind, in no particular order (except for the first one) . . .

Couldn’t Al Davis have made an attempt to sign Koren Robinson, just so he’d get the chance to room on the road with Kerry Collins?

The Patriots may not lose any game they try to win.

Ralph Friedgen looks like his pregame meal is an entire adult goat, eaten python style. Fridge needs another diet agenda, like new bleachers or something, or else he’s going to keel over on the sideline. He will be a high pick in next year’s Rotogods Death Pool.

Speaking of which, Red Auerbach (and the Junky) are on full alert, ready to shake up the standings.

It’s weird to have the game of the year come so early on the schedule, but there it is tomorrow, Texas at Ohio State, 8 p.m. Whoever wins is in the national title hunt, whoever loses has some digging to do.

These Thursday NFL games are cool, I suppose, but it also leaves me with three lopsided fantasy football scores to stare at for three days:

Tarp Nazis 214, The Fool’s Team 0
Salt n’ Culpeppah 5, The Fool’s Team 0 (Enjoy it, TiVo)
Gone by 3 p.m. 25.35, The Fool’s Team 1 (Thanks, SeaBass)

Sunday can’t come soon enough.

The Fool has a new favorite pitcher: Dustin Nippert of the Arizona Diamondbacks. Not sure how this guy has escaped my prospect radar all season, but he got my attention on Thursday with his no decision against the Pirates. He didn’t pitch all that well, but he also didn’t allow a home run, which is what caught my eye after a little digging – Nipper doesn’t allow home runs. Consider him the anti-Eric Milton. In 18 minor league starts this season, Nippert had allowed only four home runs, which for him was pretty typical; since starting pro baseball in 2002, he has allowed a grand total of 10 home runs, including none in 71.2 innings last season. The 24-year-old righty also has a strikeout rate of more than a batter an inning. THIS is the kind of guy you should look for when assembling a group of keepers to build your fantasy pitching staff around. If Nippert, who makes his next start against the Brewers and the great Doug Davis, can stay healthy, he could be quite a find for your team.

Here is the link to the Kanye West – Mike Myers – Chris Tucker telethon moment from last week. Hilarious, indeed.

“George Bush doesn’t care about black people” is a nominee for moment of the year.

The Atlanta Braves will play in the World Series this year, I just feel it.

Doctor Furious wanted me to add that all applicants to be a Rotogod are put into a lottery to compete to be the Washington Nationals’ fifth starter as well.

Is there any alcohol in Sam Adams Light? I was mowing them down at a ridiculous, lonely middle-aged man pace earlier this week with seemingly no effect.

But then The Fool has a couple Smithwicks with the rapidly aging Father Time and the head becomes noticeably lighter. It made that Sam Light taste like Sam NA, if there’s such a thing. Ask Kerry Collins.

Drop The Fool an e-mail at thefool@rotogods.com.

-- Written by The Fool on September 09, 2005