What to write? What to write?

Written by Xach on August 30, 2005

Wow. I really don't Freel like writing an article right now. It's 3:00 in the morning and I don't even have an idea of what I'd like to say here.

Something about Felix Hernandez being related to Jesus H. Christ perhaps? Meh.

Something about hurricane Katrina? How many New Orleanders does it take to get down from a roof? Too soon? Is "New Orleanders" even the right phraseology?

One easy article topic is always to point out what an idiot Dusty Baker is. But even a retard can see that having a pitcher toss an inning of relief in a losing effort for a team that has no playoff hopes, when the pitcher is scheduled to have season ending surgery two days later, makes no sense. Then again, retards can also see that was a poorly constructed sentence.

Maybe a Best of the Web kinda thing like I did an article or two ago? That's an idea I guess. I could point out, in this respect, how annoying it is when sports media outlets try to provide coverage on mostly unrelated events like hurricanes. At this hour, ESPN.com has hurricane Katrina as its featured cover story. If that isn't enough for you, you can also read about how worried Eric Moulds is about his house in Mississippi. Not that anyone was home there during the hurricane. But I just got back from vacation, so I haven't been doing enough reading lately to bring you a whole Shittiest of the Web article.

I could also write an article about foibles and pet peeves I encountered on vacation. Like the fact that it takes about 15 minutes to cross the street at a five-way intersection in Los Angeles. Or the fact that people who condescend to jay walk in Los Angeles have no clue whatsoever how to jay walk safely. Here in New York City, we jay walk all the time and people rarely get hurt. In LA they have stricter regulations about jay walking. The result of these strict regulations seems to be that the few jay walkers see fit to walk directly into 40-mile per hour traffic. Life does not stop and start at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit.

It's also fun to say "stay out of Malibu, dead beat!" after observing a Malibu police officer questioning a homeless man, and receive only blank looks from everyone.

There's all kinds of topics in this crazy world. I could even just point out decent waiver wire players to pickup like Carl Everett, who has been pretty hot over the past week. Jurassic Carl? You mean vagina? Wait. I mean, you know the guy?

One thing I like to do is talk about my team a lot. It occurred to me earlier today that my pitching staff has pretty much been the best in the league over the past month-plus. And over that stretch, three of my four best pitchers came off of free agency or waivers:

  • Joe Blanton: 38.0 innings, 3 wins, 26 K's, 0.95 ERA, 1.08 WHIP

  • Jason Vargas: 32.1 innings, 4 wins, 25 K's, 3.06 ERA, 1.18 WHIP

  • Felix Hernandez: 36 innings, 2 wins, 38 K's, 1.75 ERA, 0.78 WHIP

    • But if I wrote an entire article about my team, all the other Rotogods would bitch aboutit. So I can't do that either.

    It's late, I'm fresh off of a vacation, and I don't feel much like writing anything.


    -- Written by Xach on August 30, 2005


    Comments

    Well, nice musings.

    Here are some other waiver wire pickups that have contributed over the last month, and they all happen to have been on my team! MY TEAM! MY TEAM!

    J. Seo 30.1 inn 4 wins 17 K 0.89 ERA 0.79 WHIP
    N. Lowry 44.2 inn 5 wins 41 K 1.41 ERA 0.83 WHIP
    J. Sosa 26.1 inn 3 wins 15 K 2.39 ERA 1.06 WHIP

    Posted by: Ape at August 30, 2005 09:15 AM

    Fuck both of you and your teams. This article can go die.

    Posted by: El at August 30, 2005 12:01 PM

    Of course you haven't had Jorge Sosa all month, since you had to wait until after I dropped him, which means you've had him for one start. Sucka.

    Posted by: Xach at August 30, 2005 01:29 PM