Two-Day Beef Barbecue (Day 1), A Roto Message Board Highlight

Written by Worm on August 03, 2005

Some names have been changed to protect the inconsequential.

It all started so innocently…

El Amin: I got the Larry Bird Mcfarlane

Ape: I do too.

I have Brady/Manny/Papi/Larry. That's a powerful Boston armada right there. Easily assing out [VK]’s Iverson and Mike Schmidt combo.

TiVo: [VK] must call in the Randall and the Ron Hextall (who the fuck is a good career Flyer? I don't think I can name a Broad Street Bully)

Ape: John LeClair was a good career flyer...until this year.

You'll have to ask Junky who a Broad street bully was...the only one I know is Jay-Z...

Xach: Broad Street Bullies were the '74-'76 championship Flyers teams, no?

Mad Dog Bob Kelly? No clue why I know this name. I think I simply read it before in raelation to the Broad Street Bullies. Here's some more 411.

http://www.hhof.com/html/t7gt04.shtml

Junky: Xach pawning this off as something he knew.

Hilarious

Xach: I said I knew that one dude's name. Gimme a fucking break jackass. You can see I learned the rest from that site. That's why I fucking posted the link to that site. You got a problem with randomly knowing one dude's name?

Father Time: [Xach wrote: “I said I knew that one dude's name. Gimme a fucking break jackass. You can see I learned the rest from that site. That's why I fucking posted the link to that site. You got a problem with randomly knowing one dude's name? Go fuck yourself. You're lucky you live with your Grandmama way up in Boston. Otherwise, I'd happily beat the shit out of you.”]

Junky, you gonna take that?

Junky: I bet you didn't even know his name and just googled it.

Xach: I bet you didn't know his name and googled it.

Why would anyone possibly care if i knew the dude's name. It's not like i claimed to know anything else about the mafuckers anyway, so I look pretty ignant with or without knowing one dude's name.

The day I pass myself off as a hockey afficionado, kill me.

(prepares for death, since he will be in a hockey league this year)

Ape: Junky cares because he is obsessed with you.

Junky: You also posted about the 74 to 76 champions. Just thought it was funny.

Xach: That's because they came up when I googled the Broad Street Bullies. I knew it had something to do with the Flyers, on account of the fact that I had visited the hockey fighting website broadstreetbullies.com about six months ago when i was looking for hockey fight photos for an advertisement I was mocking up.

Is mentioning the 74-76 champions a problem somehow?

Ape: It is for Junky. It makes him break out into hives and gives him ghonarea

Junky: I never said it was a problem, you just said it in a manner that made it seem like you knew it of the top of your head. Even though I knew that you had just looked it up, and now you've admitted as such.

Ape: And that's one huge fucking problem Xach, you dickless, shit eating fuck.

Xach: No, I didn't. I said I believed I knew the one guy's name and by the way, here's a link. I'll try and be less helpful in the future.

Junky: [Xach wrote: “Broad Street Bullies were the '74-'76 championship Flyers teams, no?

Mad Dog Bob Kelly? No clue why I know this name. I think I simply read it before in raelation to the Broad Street Bullies. Here's some more 411.

http://www.hhof.com/html/t7gt04.shtml”]

Burn?

Xach: how is that a burn? It says what I just said that it says. notice the "no?" after my first statement. And then the "?" after Mad Dog Kelly's name?

And then the link?

By the way, I want white gold for my engagement ring. None of that regular gold crap for me, thanks.

Junky: No your gonna take what I give to you.

(is Boggs)

Father Time: (knows Xach is serious and Junky is kidding)

Xach: great. just fucking great.

(buys "I'm engaged and all I got was this lousy bucket of fried chicken" T-shirt)

Father Time: Fried chicken?

Xach: See: Wade Boggs pre-game superstitions.

Junky: I bet you looked Wade Boggs up on google.

Father Time: Fuck Wade Boggs. Just gimme the fried chicken.

Ape: To me, this thread looks like Junky is obsessed with Xach. Very obsessed.

Junky: You've mentioned that 3 times now, are we perhaps trying to hide an obsession of our own?

Ape: What, like your hidden obsession with me?

Kinda up to you dude.

Seems like your busy trying to 'get' Xach for knowing the name of a guy on the Flyers in the 70's.

I wouldn't want to interrupt your important work.

Junky: That time of month?

Ape: brrr, good one.

Junky: Sorry to dissapoint.

Xach: So what's the problem here, beyond the fact that Junky would like to paint me as the Great Fantasy Sports Gatsby?

Ape: I have no problem, I just thought he sounded a little too eager to get all over your nuts. And he doesn't like that I said so.

Junky: I don't want to paint you at all.

Ape is trying to project his Junky obsession, and got mad because nobody jumped on the wagon.

Ape: Yeah, I'm furious.

Are you going to give me a call to see if I'm alright?

Junky: I just don't think Giving Xach a hard time for trying to look smarter than he is, is that obsessive or out of the ordinary. It looks a lot more to me like you are trying to start shit with me and your mad because it ain't really working.

So solly.

Father Time: (grabs seat. eats popcorn)

Ape: I just hink its boring to read, since it is just about the only conversation the two of you ever have.

Solly.

Junky: and I just think you're in a bad mood, because normally you would be piling on and loving it. But whatever, i managed to amuse myself. Guess you're SOL.

Xach: It's obsessive and out of the ordinary, because this is a persistent theme with you. It's as though you're annoyed any time I say anything informative. You say a lot of things to make yourself sound like Smartypants McSucksalot. But have you noticed you're the only Rotogod who obsessively needs to question exactly how other people (namely me) come across their information?

I'm not sure why you think you have a built in wire tap to the tidbits of inane knowledge that float around my brain, but you scertainly have a love affair with pointing out anything you think I'd be ipso facto too stupid or ignorant to know in teh first place.

I've made it pretty clear how I came across my one litlle grain of sand-sized tid bit of info about the Broad Street Bullies. I'm sorry I humbly provided an answer littered with questiuon marks before you showed up to give us the official cool guy who actually knows everything about everyone ever answer.

Ape: Yeah, that pretty much jibes with my thoughts.

Father Time: Does it? Does it jibe?

Ape: I'll be the first to pile on when you actually have something.

Xach never claimed to know anything and you just spent 90 minutes telling him he did. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself though.

Just makes you look obsessed with him...

Junky: Actually i typed about 5 posts. Maybe you're a really slow reader?

Yes, I enjoy making fun of you, Xach. I think and know that you are the type of person to act like they know something when they don't know it. If I'm obsessed with you, then so are 5 other guys in here. I've moved on from you to the grumpy Ape now because he is jealous.

Xach: Yeah, I'm not sure why this is the only conversation we have. But it is annoying. Junky's most amusing pastime is, apparently, convincing himself that he's smarter than me while telling me I'm trying too hard to look smart. Go figure.

Junky: I'm not smarter than you. I don't think I am, I just think it's funny when you try to be smarter than you are.

Ape: Everyone here likes to play 'exposo', I just think Junk is having trouble remembering how the game goes.

Junk, the person usually has to pretend like they know something. All Xach was doing was contributing to a conversation where everyone, Xach included, avowed they knew nothing.

Why is it such a struggle for you to get that?

Father Time: (thinks this entire argument's funny)

Junky: I have my own rules. It goes I make someone when I feel like it, and then sit back and watch you act like a hurt bitch.

Ape: Yeah, you wound me.

Are we getting Senti now Kim?

Junky: Please, you've been senti and I can't even figure out why.

Ape: I'm senti?

because I thought your conversation was lame?

Seems like your the one who can't handle that right now.

What's the big deal?

Xach: Jibe:

v. intr.

To make taunting, heckling, or jeering remarks.

v. intr.

To shift a fore-and-aft sail from one side of a vessel to the other while sailing before the wind so as to sail on the opposite tack.

Disclaimer for Junky: I was pretty sure that the second of the above two definitions was the definition of "jibe", and was surprised to find the first definition as well. Although I did have some idea of the definition, I wouldn't have worded it quite as intelligently as what you see here. I posted these directly from the dictionary. As such, I hope no one is mislead as to my knowledge base.

Beagle: he he, this thread funny

Father Time: agleed.

Ape: Mission accomprished.

Junky: You could put that to a vote and I bet you'd be dissapointed with the results.

Ape: What are we voting on?

Junky: Who got senti.

Beagle: Vote Vote Vote Vote

Worm: um, you missed one:

jibe2 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (jb)
intr.v. Informal jibed, jib·ing, jibes
To be in accord; agree: Your figures jibe with mine.

Junky: hey, I never wrote Jibe.

Ape: yeah, where did 'jibe' enter into this?

Xach: [Worm wrote: ”um, you missed one:

jibe2 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (jb)
intr.v. Informal jibed, jib·ing, jibes
To be in accord; agree: Your figures jibe with mine.”]

You looked that up, didn't you?!?!

Worm: no way, dude, i play Scrabble, i've memorised the dictionary.

Father Time: So does anyone ever use the word "Scrabble?"

Worm: orcasionally.

Xach: does anyone ever use the word, "memorised"?

Worm: definately.

El Amin: this was funny, through no real fault of Junk or Ape's. It just proves that you too should be married, or forced to hang out with each other for an extended period of time.

The funny thing is that Xach comes out of this thread smelling like roses, and, well, that's funny considering I'd prolly vote him the rotogod most likely to skip a shower.

I think no one really got senti in this beef and the only thing funny about it was how desperately petulant it read.

Ape obviously tried to blow up Junky, and then they both got pissy with each other. I don't see how any senti happened or if any beef got won. still it's funner than making sales calls.

Ricky: (doesn't see how this could possibly be true)

El Amin: there's nothing funny about a sales call. Nothing.

-- Written by Worm on August 03, 2005