Are your players Exposed

Written by Dr Furious on July 22, 2005

Is it Friday already? It has been a strange week for the Doc. Complications with a rental car ushered in the week, more demands at work shortly followed, and I get to spend some time at the Registry of Motor Vehicles today. I am positive that will be nothing but fun. So while I may dispense some hatred toward an unsuspecting RMV employee, we are strictly hate-free for the offering this morning. Since the end of the month is near, I give you another Exposo list this Friday. Is there really anything more unbearable than players not producing as expected? I do not think so. If you are reading this and coffee arrangements have not been made, then you should definitely work on that. Lets begin the offering this morning with…

Mark Mulder
I do not have a problem with Mulder’s record. Winning eleven games while only losing five is good. I doubt any fantasy owners would have problems with those numbers. It those other stats that are really bothering any owners who were dumb enough to acquire you (include me among said owners). A 3.96 ERA is not horrible, but it is definitely not good either. A WHIP (walks/hits per inning pitched in case you did not know) of 1.36 is just downright hideous. What happened to the days when you were a good pitcher, when your ERA was sub 3.5 and your whip was closer to 1 than 1.5? Whether or not Mulder’s best days are behind him remains to be seen. He has earned a nice, comfy spot the exposo list this month.

Bret Boone
The Boone family pharmacist must be unemployed right now, because both of these guys suck right now. I am unsure how and why they are still on MLB rosters. It is time to get back on the roids Bret, because what ever you may be doing (or not doing) is not helping your production on the field. I know that Seattle’s offense has declined over the past few years, but Boone drove in more than 100 runs from 2001 to 2003. Where is the power guy? Boone has only hit seven homeruns this season and has driven in a meager 35 runs. That is downright despicable. I think a couple of the rotogods could accumulate more than 35 RBIs for the first half of a season. I think Bret needs some juice, and I am not talking about orange juice either.

Mike Lowell
How many pejorative terms can we come up with to describe the mockery that is Mike Lowell’s season? The numbers are down all across the board. Lowell hit 27 homers last season, but has only gone deep four times this year. This is a power outage of mammoth proportions. Furious could go on and on about this guy, but I do not want to waste your time or mine. Lowell needs to get in touch with the former Boone family physician, or place a call to Balco. Steroids may help Lowell’s power numbers, but it will not help him avoid being exposed.

Sammy Sosa
I thought you were going to find salvation and redemption in Baltimore. I guess things did not quite go according to plan. If you cannot hit more than ten homeruns in that lineup, something is definitely wrong. I am sure that anyone who is in love with Sosa could come up with excuses. He switched leagues, he cannot cork his bat anymore, he is about half the size he was last year, etc. The decline of Swingin’ Sammy has many different factors, but it does not change the fact that he sucks. If you are forced to start Sammy in your outfield, I feel really bad for you. The only thing Sammy should be doing is occupying the free agent wire … and making an appearance on the exposo list.

I think that just about does it on this fine morning. Furious is off to the gym and then to the Registry. I hope I do not have to go postal on someone this afternoon, but it might just happen. I will employ everything in my power to keep Friday hate-free. Whether I succeed or not is a different story. Regardless, do as I say, not as I do. A hate-free Friday is better for the Karma. Believe me … I know.

Send the Doc some hate or love via email at Docfury@rotogods.com

-- Written by Dr Furious on July 22, 2005