One Crazy Morning Offering

Written by The Fool on July 21, 2005

There must be something crazy in the coffee, because a number of folks are plumb off their rocker as this week winds down.

Take Livan Hernandez, for instance. The erstwhile Nationals ace broke bad on . . . well, no one is really sure who he broke bad on, or who he’s pissed at, or what his deal is. One thing is sure – if you own him, deal him now. Because by the time you read this, the crazy Cuban may have gone into operation shutdown mode.

After last night’s loss, just his fourth of the year, Livan went crazy and cryptic while chatting with the press.

As Mark Zuckerman described it in The Washington Times:

Hernandez, the losing pitcher last night, said he is "99.9 percent" sure he will undergo surgery on the right knee that has bothered him nearly the entire season.
Not because it's having a negative effect on his performance but apparently because he has a long-standing beef with someone or something associated with the Nationals franchise.
Hernandez would not clarify what that beef is or who it's with. But his frustration came across loud and clear to anyone who crowded around his locker following the game.
"Something's bothering me, but it's not my knee," Hernandez said. "I'll tell you after the season."

That makes for a good time for a team in a playoff race. Just make sure it doesn’t screw up your fantasy squad.

Same goes for crazy Kenny Rogers. Gotta love a guy who accosts a cameraman . . . while being booked, in prison, for beating up a cameraman.

And all of this is after getting suspended for 20 games, injuring his hand while punching a water cooler, and lobbing baseballs at photographers during spring training.

The knucklehead is nuts, and is either (a) a ticking timebomb or (b) nearly out of a job. How much more will the Rangers put up with? And will he be worth a darn whenever he takes his suspension and returns? If he’s on your team, pawn him off on someone else; get what you can for crazy Kenny.

You want more crazy?

- Check out these quotes, compiled by Barker Davis of the Washington Times. Gems from Mike Tyson, Bill Cowher, Joe Thiesmann and many other folks who should have learned a long time ago when to keep their mouths shut. But oh they are so entertaining.

- It’s comforting, I suppose, to know there’s craziness outside of the sports world. Ann Coulter, the saucy conservative commentator, takes the nuttiness to a new level in her latest column, which featured this take on the Supreme Court nominee:

The only way a Supreme Court nominee could win the approval of NARAL and Planned Parenthood would be to actually perform an abortion during his confirmation hearing, live, on camera, and preferably a partial-birth one.

- About the only thing crazier than that is white barbecue sauce, which The Fool spotted on the Food Network late last night.

Huh?

Leave it to Alabama to come up with something that makes as much sense as cold coffee.

Drop The Fool an e-mail at thefool@rotogods.com.

-- Written by The Fool on July 21, 2005