Sunday Offering: Baseball, and More!

Written by Worm on July 17, 2005

Today in Non-Baseball Sports
Cycling: In France, Lance drives his two-wheeled pedal-powered vehicle up a steep hill for several hours, followed by a couple hundred other Sunday riders. Golf: Tiger Woods hits a tiny ball into a tiny hole repeatedly. Adoring throngs cheer. Auto Racing: Left turn, left turn, left turn, left turn. Repeat several hundred times. Hockey: I guess we can’t make this joke anymore. Poker: You got me. Anybody else want to cover this one?

And Now for Something Completely Different
How can you tell when leftover Chinese is too old to eat? Seriously, I need to know. There’s a television commercial which features a bunch of dudes eating old Chinese food, and then dying and going to heaven, where they get to watch TV. But they fail to mention how long the food had been sitting around. I’ve heard tales of bad experiences, severe stomach pain, bleeding from the eyes, that sort of thing. So now, after just a day or two, I really start to wonder about that pork fried rice I was gonna have for lunch. Can’t they just put an expiration date on the carton or something? It’s, like, really important.

Baseball!
So, the Yankees now feature Al Leiter as their number three starter. This is bad news for Yankees fans, but still better than the alternatives. Well, there really were no alternatives, other than trying to revive the two-man rotation. Actually, I’d like to see that; it’s been 120 years since there was a 50-game winner in baseball. Yep, that’s right, the 1885 Chicago White Stockings featured the major leagues' last 50-game winner, John Clarkson. The number one starter in their two-man rotation that year, Clarkson started 70 games, and won 53. Think you’re up to it, Randy?

Fantasy players in need of closer depth need to be on high alert for the next few weeks, with trade talk heating up, and bullpen help looming large in the rumor mill. I mentioned my troubles with Eric Gagne and Keith Foulke in my previous article, and now I’m hearing rumblings about my last remaining dependable closer, Billy Wagner, being traded to St. Louis. Needless to say, I will be going postal if such a thing occurs, especially with Ugueth Urbina already being owned in our league. But heed my words, saves will soon become available, and you have to follow the news closely and be ready to strike, if you want to remain competitive.

Scrabble Word of the Day
BERDACHE. Look it up.

-- Written by Worm on July 17, 2005