Answering The Question

Written by Xach on July 14, 2005

A few days ago I was at a bar with some friends. It came to light that I'm a fantasy sports junky and, as tends to happen when the topic comes up, someone asked me to explain fantasy sports. I'm always happy to answer this question for people. People have a right to know. However, it's the invariable followup question that kills me. You know the one, The Question. Oh how we fantasy sports addicts dread The Question. Is it not enough to explain the game, that we all must then explain what's entertaining about it? To me, this is like asking someone who watches television what's so entertaining about television.

Sometimes The Question isn't asked; only implied. You'll receive a look. Or you'll finish explaining the game, and the conversation will change. Immediately.

This article is for anyone who has ever asked The Question, and for anyone who has ever had to answer it. Why does this silly game of names and numbers consume our lives? Why do we have to check how our teams are doing?

The essence of sport in our daily lives
Sports fans will always draw both the most beautiful and ugliest elements of the game into their lives. Sometimes we even find practical reasons. A friend of mine once said that when he needs to keep himself from premature ejaculation he repeats the following mantra to himself: "Sweaty Patrick Ewing. Sweaty Patrick Ewing. Sweaty Patrick Ewing..."

Last week I got a girl's phone number in a bar and she didn't call back in a timely manner. Given the specifics of the situation, I began to wonder why. In discussing this matter, my friend and colleague Worm uttered some simple words: "even when they're doing everything right, even the best batters don't hit much better than .300." There it was again. There's just something about this whole sports thing, beyond the particulars of a 4-6 defense or an infield shift, that keeps us entertained and relates to our daily lives.

Beyond the cute examples, beyond the inexplicable joy from our favorite games, there are reasons we teach children the value of sport. There are more reasons than even bear mentioning here, from exercise to teamwork to discipline to social bonding. Suburbia is filled with soccer moms driving children to the field. Urban sprawl is littered with children throwing balls through hoops and playing stick ball.

Beyond the tangibles, where do the addictive intangibles come from? Perhaps it would help if we could summon the ghosts of Johnny Most, Howard Cosell and Harry Carry, put cigars in their mouths and leave them to explain such things.

The other night I watched the Super Bowl XXXVI Champions DVD, again, and it struck me that there's a facet of sport in general which calls us to watch the games even after we've already learned the outcome and seen every play. Oh to hear Harry Kalas, the same voice from seemingly every movie trailer ever produced, recounting my beloved New England Patriots' first ever march to Super Bowl glory. Each sports fan has his or her own favorite games. What Pistons fan can't watch Isiah Thomas limping his team to glory in game 7 of the 1988 championships? What Red Sox fan wouldn't be content to revisit Game 6 at Yankee stadium with Curt Schilling's ankle bleeding through his sock? When the suspense of the moment is gone there's still... something. That something, it's not just on your couch or at the stadium. It's in the way you glance at the television in a restaurant's bar. You're not even watching that game, man, but you still want to know.

Homo sapiens belong to the family of storytellers. From the oral tradition to the printed page to the digital age, humankind has always had a fascination with drama. We like to know that strange things happen, that plot lines begin and end. We like to know when someone wins and someone loses. We like to know who got married, who got shot and who contracted syphilis.

Sport, in its essence, is pure drama. Not only does every sport feature physical activity and competition, but each has a scoring system that tells the exact story. Every sport has human interaction, pleasure, pain, victory, loss, folly, suspense, physical feats and plot. And unlike an art house film, no one ever leaves a sporting event and wonders what the point was.

And yet, with the many lures of sport being understood, people still want to know where fantasy sports fit in; why they're so appealing -- and in fact, addicting -- to so many fans.

From supply and demand to supply on command
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, people gathered by the campfire to hear stories. No one had books. No one had pens. No one even had language. Gar, holder of large stick, and Oogor, kicker of small animals, had to act everything out just so people could be entertained. That's the way it was and people liked it. Sooner or later, people started writing stories down on paper. Since Gar and Oogor didn't have to act things out every time someone wanted to hear a story, people were inclined to take in more stories on their own time. One thing led to another, and before long, humans were able to watch Gar and Oogor over and over again on giant silver things called "movie screens." Next thing anyone knew, there were televisions -- and yes, history progressed exactly as I'm depicting it here -- and the whole world feared that people would never leave their houses again. For some sloth-like people, this prediction sadly came true, but that's a story for another time.

A shorter time ago, in a different galaxy slightly less far away, people gathered at ballparks to see baseball games. No one had radios. No one even had Coors Light. To get a live play by play, fans had to go watch Larry Doyle, swinger of bat, and Smokey Joe Wood, thrower of ball, in person. That's the way it was and people liked it. Sooner or later, games were broadcast on the radio. Since people could catch some of the live drama away from the ballpark, they were inclined to take in more games on their own time than they had before. Next thing anyone knew, there were televisions -- and yes, history progressed exactly as I'm depicting it here -- and the whole world feared that people would never go to a ballpark ever again. For some sloth-like people, this prediction sadly came true, but that's a story for another time.

The point is this: Most humans are so drawn to the fundamental elements of drama that they like to have a steady supply. Sure, people still go to the barbershop and gossip in person or see a play, but from tabloids to television shows to video games, people are all the more enticed by the convenience of entertainment on command. Fantasy sports make it possible for fans to indulge at almost any point in time. By playing a second game with the numbers from the live games, fans have further incentive to care. At 2:00 in the morning, when there are no more baseball games of interest to the average East Coast viewer, a fantasy sports fan in Boston may still be glued to the computer, radio or television waiting to see if Trevor Hoffman gets a save. At 11:00 in the morning an office worker may be at his or her desk trying to make a trade or reading about a player's production. For every moment a fan feels like wasting, there's an element of entertainment ready at hand.

In many senses, fantasy sports are not so different from gambling on sports outcomes. A football fan who bets on every game is more likely to sit in front of his or her television for an entire Sunday, caring about each and every game. The sports gambler isn't only interested in the game. Sports gamblers are interested in the day's match ups, late changes in the odds, who's injured, who's playing, and who the commentators like heading into the day. It's not just the act of gambling and then watching. It's the broader scope of entertainment and excitement that gambling brings to the table.

Sound reminiscent of any fantasy sports players you know? To take it a step deeper, many people bet not only on the games, but also on their fantasy games. This too, however, is a story for another time.

Choose Your Own Adventures, video games and the joys of interactivity
When I was nine years old, I remember loving Choose Your Own Adventure books. They were awesome. You could read the same story at least, I dunno, like three different times and each time it would have a different ending. Sure, it was a simple gimmick, but to a kid the idea appealed in some very basic way. These books spoke to the part of me that liked to feel in control of something. The decisions I made while reading affected the outcome of the story. Sure, after a while I started cheating and read all the endings first, but it was the idea that counted. Where storytelling has been concerned, listeners have always desired control. It's innate in the act of listening. People hear words and they want to interpret them. Without getting too bogged down in theory, even the basic act of interpretation is a form of controlling what you've been told. Sure, readers have always had the power to close a book and viewers have always had the power to turn off televisions or change channels. But the lure of interactivity seems, for many people, to be the most enticing of all. We are creators at heart.

Painters don't just like going to museums; they like to paint. Athletes don't just like to watch games; they like to play. By enlarge, audiences like not only to watch, but to participate -- except at tennis matches where no one is allowed to sneeze loudly and at symphony halls where no one is allowed to clap after a bassoon solo, but anyway... America doesn't just like to watch American Idol; America likes to vote on who wins. The booming video game industry is one more shining example of the trend toward interactivity in entertainment.

Fantasy sports brings one more level of interactivity to the sports fan. Fantasy sports players are constantly changing their rosters and fiddling with a boundless world of what-ifs. Fantasy sports may be just a first step in the evolution of sports fan interactivity, but it's already progressed well beyond a Choose Your Own Adventure.

The social phenomenon
Sure, fantasy sports help sports fans get their fix whenever they want it. And yes, fantasy sports give fans more motivation to follow all the dramas inherent in sport from the outcome of each competition to the individual lives of athletes. But beyond all else, fantasy sports is an intriguing social phenomenon. You join a league and, just as with any other group activity, there's a social scene that revolves around it.

Some people go to church or synagogue to pray; still more go for the sense of community. Some people belong to country clubs because they love golf; still more go to socialize. As with coworkers talking about the work day over a drink, you will find fantasy sports competitors discussing their teams throughout the annals of American nightlife.

In a growing number of offices, it's as acceptable to check one's fantasy team for five minutes as it is to take a cigarette break. It's a necessary -- and, theoretically, brief -- respite from the rest of the day. On June 22, rotogods.com's very own BartenderMan wrote an article that stated

According to an article in [the June issue of] Men's Health titled "Oh, So Tempting", checking your fantasy baseball scores instead of working is something to “indulge” in.

Water cooler topics are making the transition from home teams to fantasy teams.

The fantasy sports phenomenon isn't merely anecdotal. It's factual. The numbers are mind blowing. Check out this snippet from The National Law Journal:

According to the Fantasy Sports Trade Association, more than 10 million people play fantasy football in the United States. Another 6 million play fantasy baseball, spending an average of $175 a year on the game and making fantasy baseball a $1 billion annual business.

According to a CNN.com article, as far back as 2002, the number of fantasy football participants that season eclipsed the number of households tuning in to watch the games on CBS on an average Sunday.

What in the name of Al Gore's Internet is going on here? Between baseball and football, there are more than 16 million fantasy sports participants each season. And that doesn't include the fast growing fantasy basketball industry or the relatively smaller fantasy hockey industry (yes, fantasy hockey does exist whenever there is an NHL season). How many total participants are there? 17 million? 18 million? 20 million? I seem to meet them everywhere I go.

And yet so many people still ask me The Question.

Dead flowers
Watching that Super Bowl XXXVI Champions DVD it hit me. All the elements of drama were there. Tom Brady, the unknown hero. The last place underdogs defeating the pre season favorites. The suspense of a last minute fumble that was ruled an incomplete pass. The backdrop of 9/11, the end of an era that closed Foxboro stadium. Epic battles. The mentor (Bledsoe) and the Apprentice (Brady). The individuals who came together as a team. The guy with the bad attitude who went away (Glenn). The voice of Harry Kalas. It was all there, as if the entire season had been produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. And then, after the DVD was over, I also remembered how fun that season had been for the guy who had Antowain Smith on his fantasy team. That lucky motherfucker.

Then I remembered a conversation I'd had with Rotogods.com's own El Amin earlier in the same evening. "I may need to quit fantasy sports," he said. It's a statement we've all uttered at one point in time. Hours of each day are whittled away maneuvering player names on a screen, discussing who's in the lead, making fun of someone's trade, getting excited when Carlos Lee hits another home run. "Yeah, there's an addiction there," I answered to El Amin. "It's tough to escape."

But let's face it: El Amin isn't quitting. I'm not quitting, and neither is any fantasy sports addict you know. If anything, we're like smokers and we're all just "cutting down" or "taking a break."

Well when you're sitting back doing your hipster drinking act
Making someone else explain all the games we play
I'll be in my basement room with a needle and a spoon
And another trade to take my pain away

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For comments, suggestions, or to find out how you can make a non-tax deductible donation to Drunks for a New New American Century, you can send Xach an E-mail or post a comment below.

-- Written by Xach on July 14, 2005