National Fantasy Sports Addicts' Withdrawal Day

Written by Xach on July 12, 2005

Rise and shine, campers. It's National Fantasy Sports Addicts' Withdrawal Day, aka MLB All Star Tuesday. Yep, it's that dreadful Tuesday that rolls around every year to remind us that we're miles away from football season, the NBA season is but a distant memory, and we have no baseball games until tomorrow.

In honor of this not-so-glorious day, I thought I would provide some thoughts on how to tool up for the second half of the baseball season, as well as some thoughts on random topics off the top of my head. As my first random thought, it occurs to me that "as well as" is possibly my least favorite three word combination to see typed onto a page in succession. And now on to some baseball.


Players I like for the second half of the MLB season

Travis Hafner: I think Trav's problems are behind him now. He frustrated owners through May, but I believe he will deliver the numbers fantasy owners expected on draft day for the second half. Hafner had a monstrous June with 29 RBI, 8 homers, and a .345 average. In 11 July games, he has 5 homers, 14 RBI and a .472 average. I see no reason he can't continue to be a monster in the second half. Owners who traded him after his dismal May are already weeping.

Todd Helton: Helton has had a dismal year and no longer carries the obscene price tag he carried with him into the season. He has been blisteringly hot in july so far though, to the tune of a .485 average and 4 homers in 11 games. 11 games is far too small a sample to consider him out of the woods. However, I am a believer in him for the second half of 2005. He's a tempting "sell high" candidate given his recent hot streak, first half struggles, and much steroid speculation, but I have a hunch that he's back.

Justin Morneau: Just 24 years old, on May 8th Morneau was hitting .429 and was absolutely crushing the ball. Over the previous 7 games he had hit 5 home runs and compiled 12 RBI. The best known fantasy experts across the country were unanimous in their predictions: the phenom would make his mark in 2005. Well, here we are at the All Star break and Morneau is batting a paltry .267. He had only 3 home runs in June and has only 1 in 11 July games. My feeling, however, is that he should be obtained now while the early season's hype is still a distant memory. Wishful thinking on my part as a Morneau owner? Perhaps. But his services will cost you little on account of his short career track record and extended slump. In the mean time, you will be sitting on one of baseball's most talented youngsters.

Victor Martinez: V. Mart still isn't producing as hoped. Coming into the season he was the next big thing at catcher. He was considered far and away the prize power talent among young catchers. Heck, he did a more than adequate job silencing each and every critic (not that he had any critics to begin with) in 2004 by posting 108 RBI and 23 homers during his first full season. Some people see a disappointing .236 hitter. And they're right. But I also hear an announcement over the P.A. system: "Attention V. Mart shoppers..."

There are plenty of other players I like for the second as well. Without giving you the complete rundown on each of them, here are a few of their names: Jose Vidro, Marcus Giles, David Wright (unless your league counts errors), Edgar Renteria, Joey Gathright ...

I guess I should mention some pitchers too while I'm at it. Let's see here:

Johan Santana: I think the wins will go up and the ERA will go down. He has been walking a lot of batters lately, has not looked like his dominant self, and may be undervalued even at his steep price. I'm a big fan.

Javier Vazquez: He has been the pinnacle of inconsistency this season. And after last season, he simply isn't regarded as the top flight talent he once was. Despite a clumsy 4.70 July ERA, and an 0-2 start to July, his WHIP and K numbers have shown signs of his old self. He has 18 K and a 0.70 WHIP in 15.2 July innings, and only two walks. 15.2 innings is definitely too small a sample size to go on. But that's what makes him attainable. I don;t think he has anywhere to go but up during the second half.

Some other pitchers I like for the second half are Mike Mussina, Barry Zito, Scott Olsen (just a complete hunch here, so don't really pay the listing of Scott Olsen much mind or write me a dumb email in two months when it turns out he sucks), Ted Lilly, Livan Hernandez, Mark Prior.


Some quick thoughts from Xach Handy

  • Eating for the cycle. Last night at bar trivia, a girl on my team suggested that, at baseball games, fans should try to eat for the cycle when a player appears to have a shot at hitting for the cycle. What's eating for the cycle, you ask? To be honest I forget. I think she mentioned hot dogs, CrackerJacks, ummmmmm, I forget what else. But I do think it's important to eat a lot whenever possible, so I liked the idea of "eating for the cycle." A quick Internet search of "eat for the cycle" reveals two things. 1) Lots of people have thought of eating for the cycle, and 2) no one agrees on what the cycle is comprised of. Some people say it's four fast food combo meals in a day. Some people claim it's the same number of hot dogs as total bases in hitting for the cycle (that would be 10 hot dogs). But my favorite was the reference I found in regard to Miller Park in Milwaukee, where you can apparently "eat for the cycle" by consuming a hot dog, a brat, a Polish sausage, and an Italian sausage.

  • Upcoming pre-season football analysis. Dr. Furious and I participated in an "experts" football draft this past Sunday, courtesy of CoolFantasyGuys.com. Expect a fun and informative write-up later in the week, complete with my idiotic drafting of Koren Robinson as the 135th pick. Yes, I realize how dumb this was. That's why I'm, sharing it with you. I released Mr. Robinson on unconditional waivers approximately 0.0012 seconds after the draft. As yet, we're awaiting proof that the Cool Fantasy Guys are actually cool and actually guys, but for now we'll take their word. Yep, leave it to me to show up to their draft unprepared, draft Koren Robinson and then make fun of them. That's just the kind of standup guy I am. Anyway, check out our draft analysis later in the week, and in the meantime, you can check out their website and then report back to us here on our message board as to whether it's actually cool and written by guys.

  • Quick thoughts that are actually long. Those quick thoughts weren't very quick.

  • A thought about athlete names. I find it strange that so many writers -- myself included, apparently -- refer to athletes by nicknames. Like when I called Travis Hafner "Trav" earlier in this article, why did I do that? That's really bothering me all of a sudden.


    • Annnnnnnnyway... Happy National Fantasy Sports Addicts' Withdrawal Day. Good luck feeding your fantasy monkey.

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    For comments, suggestions, or to find out how you can make a non-tax deductible donation to Drunks for a New New American Century, you can send Xach an E-mail or post a comment below.


    -- Written by Xach on July 12, 2005


    Comments

    well, we Rotogods are all nicknames, so we may as well return the favor to the athletes we "write" about. yeah, Xach is a great nickname, by the way. is that pronounced "ksatsh"?

    Posted by: Worm at July 12, 2005 07:41 AM

    I think any guy who has the nickname "Smokin" and is last name is "Erb" pretty much HAS to be cool, thus deeming him an acceptable member of CoolFantasyGuys. Hmmmmm, Xach, made me think for a moment because my fiancee always likes to tell me that I am far far away from being cool ... but that's because she doesn't understand fantasy.

    Posted by: Smokin at July 12, 2005 07:51 AM

    Nice Work, Xach.

    Will Mr. Huff finally remember how to play? He's always hot in the second half as well. Although I think he's dreamy anyway.

    Posted by: Fadda at July 12, 2005 10:16 AM

    Helton can still eat shit. I think those aliens left their anal probe up in this digestive system somewhere...

    Posted by: BartenderMan at July 12, 2005 11:09 AM

    Good point about Huff, Fadda. I didn't include him, because I'm actually not convinced this won't just be a down year for him. Same goes for Beltre and Beltran as well. I think all these guys COULD have huge second halves, but I don't feel as sure about them as I do about the guys I listed.

    As for my nickname, "Xach", you all made that name up for me. So if you pronounce it "ksatsh", that's pretty much your dime right there. I'm fine with Zach, Xach, "ksatsh", or whatever. Frankly, Scarlett . . .

    Posted by: Xach at July 12, 2005 02:35 PM

    Oh no, is that the beginning of a Casablanca quote. Ewwww! Nice article Xach, now get cracking on the draft anal

    Posted by: Doc Fury at July 12, 2005 07:10 PM

    a) Casablanca is one of the best movies of all time.

    b) No, it's from Gone with the Wind

    Posted by: Xach at July 12, 2005 07:35 PM

    Eat my Ass!

    Posted by: el at July 12, 2005 08:03 PM

    Doh!

    Posted by: Doc Fury at July 12, 2005 11:39 PM

    Nice work Xach . . Helton, Hafner, Vazquez are mine mine mine.

    Posted by: Beagle at July 13, 2005 01:00 PM