The Scent of Varmint Poontang in the Morning

Written by The Fool on June 23, 2005

How would you like to come over and mow my lawn?

The American Film Institute released its list of the top 100 movie quotes this week, and, well, Americans love lists, so it was quite the hit.

Nine of those quotes came from sports movies, as the brilliant blogger over at Real Gone detailed yesterday.

But AFI missed a few great sports movie quotes. A few immediately come to mind:

The classic from Rocky’s trainer, the Penguin: “You're gonna eat lightning, and you're gonna crap thunder!”

A lasting (though half false) line from Tin Cup: “Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.”

The great Robert Duvall’s character in the always underrated and underappreciated “Days of Thunder”: “No, no, he didn't slam you, he didn't bump you, he didn't nudge you... he rubbed you. And rubbin, son, is racin'.” Maybe they just didn’t want Tom Cruises head to get any bigger.

And how do you include the Carl Spackler ramblings from “Caddyshack” while leaving out the comic stylings of the late great Rodney Dangerfield? For instance:

Czervik: This is the ugliest hat I've ever seen... I bet you buy a hat like this you get a free bowl of soup. Oh it looks good on you, though.

Czervik: Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

Czervik: Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid.

Czervik: Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.

Czervik: Hey, did somebody step on a duck?

And there are even a few more classics from Mr. Spackler, most notably: “I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.”

Should I just cut and paste the script?

Fantasy baseball is depressing me. These stupid movie quotes helped bring me back.

So, enjoy your day at the office, knowning that as you read this I’m probably still asleep. Cheers!

-- Written by The Fool on June 23, 2005