The Morning Offering - Thursday, May 26, 2005

Written by The Fool on May 26, 2005

Nights like Wednesday make The Fool want to run run run (like Gump) away from sports.

For instance, I was at work until after 12:30 a.m. last night. Why? For an NBA playoff game that a grand total of three people – Junky, Ape and Bill Simmons – were watching.

Oooh, the intrigue. . . . will Larry Brown leave the Pistons to run the Cleveland Cavaliers organization? (Funny, I thought the Cavs got rid of the blind owner, because only he would have missed Doodoo Brown ruining the 76ers before jetting to a franchise someone else pieced together. Back me up on this TiVo) Will Shaq be healthy enough to make a difference? Will Darko break a sweat?

Then, to cap the evening, I see this little tidbit of misfortune pop up on the AP Wire:

PHOENIX (AP) - The mystery of Arizona Diamondbacks closer Brandon Lyon's elbow problem deepened Wednesday when team physician Michael Lee said he couldn't predict when Lyon would be able to return.

Uh huh. . . .

Lyon went on the disabled list May 18, retroactive to May 13, with what the team said was a flexor mass strain in his right elbow. In the last two days, Lyon has had two MRIs.
The second revealed "some changes of the ulnar collateral ligament'' in the joint, and Lee wanted a second opinion before deciding on treatment.

Oh, and the kicker:

He said he was leaning toward Los Angeles Angels team orthopedist Lewis Yocum, who has been treating Barry Bonds' right knee, to provide the second review of the workup.

Because Barry’s rehab has gone soooooooo well.

Brandon Lyon? He’s The Fool’s find of the year, a lynchpin of the fantasy baseball team’s success. With Lyon out, there’s a chance Andy Sisco shows up in the lineup, and really, who wants that?

So The Fool didn’t even listen to sports radio on the way home. Nope, it was all Neil Young, skipping around discs one and two of “Decade.”

The Fool found a great way to rediscover music: Loaning it to folks. Now, you want your CDs back, so you have to make sure you trust the people borrowing your discs. But it can become a great way to get back in tune with your collection. For instance, at the bar last week, a coworker of mine mentioned some Neil Young CD she got that she really liked, yada yada yada . . . The Fool’s ears perked up, since for the last hour his taste in tunage had been besieged by Eagles (the bad 70s band, not the bad football team) and Pink Floyd fans.

Neil Young, you say? Oh, After The Gold Rush? (it’s his “masterpiece”).

So, The Fool sez, “I’m bringing you ‘Decade’.”

The coworker, of course, loved it, and returned it within a week.

And tonight, on the way home, instead of pondering a shitty late-night commute, bad sports talk radio, stomach indigestion, homeowners insurance, Brandon Lyon’s elbow, coworkers I'd like to kill, and Larry Brown’s future. . . . The Fool had two discs full of classic Neil Young tunes to raise my spirits and get me thinking about old times (they were good times).

Look out, mama, 'cause I'm comin' home tonight.

(of course, The Fool just quoted two Neil Young songs that aren’t on ‘Decade’, but doubts many of you would have known the difference)

Things you should know

Jose Valverde will get Brandon Lyon’s saves for Arizona, not the fat guy TiVo tried to trade for this week, Brian Burwell or whatever his name is. No. Not him. Get Valverde.

Brandon McCarthy should stay in the majors, but he might not. A lot will ride on the White Sox rookie’s start on Friday against the Texas Rangers. Some have speculated that if he pitches well he could stick with the club whichever Cuban defector comes back from the DL, with McCarthy throwing long relief. And, yes, those types of pitchers can be valuable to your team if they strike the shit out of people and control the ball – two things McCarthy does well.

Clint Barmes – aka Mr. “Four for his last 31” – is slowly but surely coming back down to Earth. Welcome back, Clint. The rookie can’t get back to Coors soon enough (and neither can the rest of his team) but it won’t happen until Monday, when the Cardinals come a callin’.

Tony Clark somehow has 20 RBI, good for fifth on his team. . . but he has half or a third of the at-bats of the guys ahead of him (he’s only registered about 70 plate appearances). Goes to show you how tough a stat runs batted in is to predict and rely on.

OK, that’s enough for you fine folks. Go pour yourself a tall black cup of coffee, rummage through your CD collection and put in something you haven’t rocked in awhile. You’ll thank The Fool later. Oh, and pick up Jairo Garcia.

-- Written by The Fool on May 26, 2005