The Morning Offering, May 5th 2005

Written by El Amin on May 05, 2005

Can we make up a slick word for a bitter male busybody?

I was watching baseball tonight, there are so many things wrong with that show on sooo many levels. First of all, Kruk and Reynolds talk more than Gammons, why?

When Kruk and Reynolds talk they basically take turns going off on sensational tirades about this and that transgression. I thought Reynolds was going to lose his voice last night.

One thing Reynolds was talking about was the Barry Bonds situation. He couldn't believe that the Giants weren't in complete control of Bonds's treatment and updates (ooh the gual of it, oooh the poor season ticket holders). Where has this guy been for the last 3 or so years. This latest Bonds scenario seems to be completely in line with every other piece of news concerning Barry Bonds. Whether or not you think Bonds is an asshole and whether or not you think he's innocent or guilty of the various allegations leveled against him, it seems to be a fairly rational decision on the part of Bonds and his handlers to take charge of their media relations and not trust it to outside sources.

This is a guy who guilty or not, has been repeatedly blown up by info leaked to the press, and a contentious (albeit deservedly so) relationship with the press. I'd do my best to keep my affairs in house and under my control if I were him.

The second part of reynolds tirade centered on the Teams lack of contol regarding Bonds's treatment. I'm sorry Harold Reynolds, why do you have the right to know any more than Barry Bonds wants to tell you about his medical condition? If his employer is satisfied with the situation, and Bonds isn't in breach of his contract, then what? What's the problem? and, how is it an unbelievable situation?

(Bottom line: It's not unbelievable, but Harold doesn't have much to say if he's not busy trying to act the part of surrogate father to his more troubled and more talented peers. Keep your shirt on chief)

He went off on something else a few minutes later, with Kruk (seemingly goaded into his own mini-rant somewhere in between), one reason I can't remember too well is that it all turned into noise, and I was busy tripping on Kruk's tie. Do these guys really have to say every abnormality in the sport is a crime against the game, it's getting hysterical.

I thought baseball was supposed to be colorful and entertaining.

I've never seen two former players more out of touch with their respective sport than those two.

And just so you think I'm no singling out Big Harold . . .

Does this man-purse come with a pocket for my skoal?

Kruk looks like one of those no-neck gophers from that arcade game where you bash the rodent as it peaks out of its hole.

They had gopherboy wear a tie (he looked like he was about to choke to death) that was the colors of Roman royalty (purple and gold), and his hair looked like it was used to clean all the excess product off the sportscenter anchors. Just goes to show that some people can't do 'metro'. Kruk should have never left BDSH, he at least looked comfortable sitting next to tom Arnold and John Salley. Last night, all I could think about was "Fat man in a little coat!"

This one's for the Fans!

There's an article this morning on ESPN ripping Bruce Ratner for considering the business side of the house before getting the nets competitive. The gist of the piece seemed to be: "Look at this tool NY/NJ his greed and ineptitude cost you Kmart and angered Jason Kidd!!!"

I guess ESPN is the only organization that's allowed to wrecklessly seek profit and exposure on the back of professional sports without being concerned about the poor fans.

It's always Friday Somewhere

Ice Cube was on the hotseat during SportsCenter this morning.

Q: "Cube, do you feel there's racism in the NBA?"

A: "There's racism everywhere. Why would it be different in the NBA"

Q: "Can you give an example?"

A: "Black people are playing the game. White people are sitting in the owners box watching the game."

You gotta hand it to Cube, He's media savy like a politician. If you ask Cube a question, he not only turns around and makes it his, but he gives you a little something to think about.

White Basketball Players

Read an article about how great Manu Ginobili is recently, and I agree with it. The point was made that white kids in the US are too shook by the game to play anymore, and it made me mad. Largely because I can't see how it's innaccurate. Personally, I've gotta stand on a bucket to be 6 feet tall. but I can jump high (I had a 37" verticle when I was 24 - measured by the 'rigged for failure' 6 Flags Great Adventure Rebound Booth where I won the big cupie doll) and I love to play basketball, just love it. All I'm saying is, I would kill to be 6'4" or taller so I could make a run at the big game, and I would also love for more big white dudes to play and do well at basketball so I can stop being called "White Chocolate or Christian Laettner" whenever I get into a real game of basketball.

-- Written by El Amin on May 05, 2005