The Morning Offering - April 22, 2005

Written by Dr Furious on April 22, 2005

Good morning people, and what a fine morning it is. The hateful, pessimistic Furious is very optimistic these days. Job offers have been accepted and, more importantly, all is right in rotoland. Basketball season is over, and my team ended up in fourth place. Not too bad considering that the squad did not feature such fantasy studs like K.G., The Matrix, King James, or Amare. I did have a guy by the name of Elton Brand. He’s a pretty good ballplayer. Furious is also the proud owner of the first place team in the Matrix Rotisserie Baseball League, to the surprise of most of most owners (myself included). While I could take this opportunity to gloat for an entire offering, I will not do so. That will only lead to hate-inspired actions from various rotogods. Nope, instead, I will proceed with some straight roto knowledge this morning. In keeping with the tradition of hate-free Fridays, Furious will look at the key position of closer. So get the coffee brewing or plop the tea bag in some hot water and let that shit percolate (or steep) and enjoy.

The upper tier, the crème del al crème, the bad mofos … (fill in your own description)

Brad Lidge
I cannot exactly remember when I figured out that Brad Lidge was the man. I think it occurred during the N.L.C.S. Lights out Lidge strikes out the side every time he takes the mound. There is a reason why in 94.2 innings, Lidge recorded 157 strikeouts last season. So if you were lucky enough to draft Lidge, you will be very happy with the numbers he compiles this season. Did I mention he has not given up a run this season?

Joe Nathan
Nathan is another closer who has not surrendered a run this young season. While he will not post the strikeout numbers that Lidge does (let’s be honest, only Gagne comes reasonably close to matching Lidge in the K department) Nathan is still very, very good. On the season, he has five saves and a win to boot (thanks to the great glove work of Christian Guzman). If you drafted Nathan, you will also be a very happy camper.

Solid contributors, good closers with good value

Jason Isringhausen
I flirted with including Isringhausen in the first group. I mean he did have 47 saves last year. What drops Jason down to the next group is the fact that he is not as dominant as the top tier closers. Isringhausen can struggle with his control sometimes and this year is a good example. He does have five saves this season but in five innings pitched, Isringhausen has walked five batters. Isringhausen is a good closer to have and a closer that you may not have to draft extremely early or pay too much money for in any salary cap leagues.

Francisco (K-Rod) Rodriguez
After years of grooming, K-Rod is finally the closer for the Los Angeles Angels. This guy will get his owner a lot of strikeouts from the relief position. As a rookie, this kid pitched in the World Series, pretty well I might add, so I am fairly confident that he can handle the pressure of closing. By the end of the year, K-Rod may be moving up to the elite group when all is said and done.

Do not touch with a ten-foot pole

Braden Looper
This guy is terrible, horrible, and should be put out of his misery. Let’s be honest: Looper is a set up man, not a closer. With an ERA of 6.43, Looper may end up getting shit beat by the Mets starting pitching staff if he continues to blow saves. If Looper is your closer, you may be better off dropping him.

Chin-hui Tsao
It is never a good bet to have a Colorado closer on your squad. I have first hand experience with that when Jose Jiminez was closer, and represented the hate squad. It was not the best decision I made, and it kept my ERA rather high for the entire year. Well folks expect more of the same from Tsao. His ERA is even higher than Looper’s, coming in at lofty 6.75 this season. The damage Tsao will do to your pitching numbers may not be worth the 15 saves he may accumulate.

Alright folks, I will shut it down here. I was going to give a more extensive breakdown, and mention some guys that have great value for those in salary cap leagues, but I want to keep it short. I would hate for anyone to confuse me with … Tivo, Xach, or any of the other windbags. Furious does not have plans for the evening, so I am sure my patronage will bring to a local bar. I will be in front of the tele, drinking some Tequila, and watching NFL draft analysis. If you get the chance, you should do the same. Have a good one folks, I’ll catch you on the flipside.

-- Written by Dr Furious on April 22, 2005