MLB player notes to read on the crapper

Written by Xach on April 19, 2005

Good morning. The Xachmeister has found himself somewhat removed from the sporting world for the past two days, but fear not. I'll find something to talk about. I really will. I have lots of important information to share. Just gimme a sec to get my thoughts in order . . .

[Lights a cigarette, stares at the computer screen, has a not-so-bright look on his face.]

Any moment now I'm expecting an idea. Something, something, something.

[Takes a nap.]

Ever not feel capable of writing something you need to write? Good. Me too. I'd like a refreshing soft drink, but I don't have one. And I'm too lazy to change out of my comfy house clothes to walk down the block and buy one. Oh refreshing soft drink, how I miss you. My cat keeps shouting at me for tuna fish, but I don't have any more. Hey look! A bed!

[Takes another nap.]

Crap. Okay, time to write something.

Spring training hype
Andruw Jones was supposed to have this amazing breakout season on account of his torrential spring. Is it just me, or does he look well on his way to posting identical numbers to last season?

A few sell high candidates I was thinking about last night

• Pat Burrell: I think Burrell has a fine chance to establish career bests in almost every statistical category this season. Then again, I've thought that about him every season. The fact remains, he is not the best player in all of baseball. So trade him while he's playing as if he were.
• Brett Myers: Here's another Philly with endless talent and several disappointing seasons. This isn't the first time he's looked dominant. And while anything's possible, you'd have to be nuts not to pull the trigger on any decent deal.
• Dontrelle Willis: Mister Inconsistency has indeed looked this unhittable before. Recall his rookie season when he awed the entire league. Ride the streak until it lasts, but recent history shows that Willis is streaky. Ride the hot streak and then take advantage of it to reign in someone more consistent.

A few buy low candidates I was thinking about last night

• Mark Teixeira: His owners should be upset. But he can't possibly be this bad. Or can he?
• Rafael Furcal: 27 years old (supposedly), talented, fast, has put up very good fantasy numbers his entire career, is in a contract season and . . . plays like shit? Sure, I guess anything's possible, but I'd buy low. And trust me, this guy can be had. His owners are ready to jump off a bridge. I know. I'm one of them.
• Nomar Garciaparra-Ham: Allow me to be the 90998976th fantasy sports writer who reminds you that Nomar is much better than this.

A few buy low candidates I was thinking about last night ... and then decided it's probably better to let their current owners keep them

• Barry Zito: Sorry, I just don't think we can count on this guy for anything any more. Obviously it's too early in the season to drop him or anything so extreme as all that, but I think his owners should feel themselves lucky if he puts up strong numbers for any extended stretch of the season. Something's wrong. Something's very wrong, I say.


• Vernon Wells: Yes, I think he's talented. And yes, I think he will put up better numbers in the future than he put up last season or has put up so far this season. However, it looks as though Wells may be entering another injury addled campaign in which he struggles to get going for a while. So who knows when that future will be? Add that to the loss of Carlos Delgado in the lineup and the fact that his owners can't afford to make the mistake of giving him away for free and you get the following summation: Wells is not worth the price.


• Randy Johnson: He's old. And he won't be cheep enough to be considered a bargain. And he's old.

Wrapping this sucker up
Okay, well it's 3:27 AM and I'm ready to wrap this sucker up. Tomorrow is another day, with another Morning Offering. In the meantime, I dunno, I guess check out this dancing chicken.

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For comments, suggestions, or whatever the fuck, you can send Xach an E-mail or post a comment below.

-- Written by Xach on April 19, 2005