The Morning Offering - April 1, 2005

Written by Dr Furious on April 01, 2005

I am so glad that Duke is out of the Tournament. I hate Duke … a lot. I hate Duke more than any other professional or collegiate organization. I hate Duke more than I hate the Yankees, although the margin is very slim. Every time I see a picture of J.J. RedDICK, I want to strap myself with some C-4 and detonate myself in Reddick’s dorm. I absolutely, positively Hate Duke!

Well since it is Friday and we know that Friday’s are hate free, then you all must be wondering what is going on. Well I figured it was appropriate to be a little foolish on the first day of April. Be not afraid people, hate free Fridays are still in affect. So hopefully you got some coffee brewing, and make sure you play at least one practical joke on a buddy today. If they get miffed at you, just let them know that Dr. Furious told you to do it. So in honor of April Fools Day, which should be a national holiday in honor of rotogod’s own The Fool, today’s feature will focus on the foolish.

Duke
If you had Duke going to the Final Four … Fooled You. I told you they were softer than Charmin toilet paper. I know Furious does not know much, but I did know that.

It’s pronounced “Gof”
Well after a crazy week of weather at The Players Championship, all rounds of golf were eventually concluded on … Monday. Steve Jones did not go wire to wire and claim the championship. Anyone who had Tiger or Mickelson winning the The P.C., you were fooled indeed. Fred Funk took home the $8 million dollar purse, and there was nothing funky about it.

Mark Prior
The latest reports on Prior have been encouraging. He may be ready for the start of the season, only missing the first series or possibly two. Of course if you think Prior will be healthy for the entire season, you may be disillusioned and quite foolish.

Louisville
Who knew Louisville would be in The Final Four? I did not having Louisville making it out of the first round. Francisco Garcia is nasty, and Rick Pitino is proving that he is the best college coach in the game. In this case it was I, Dr. Furious, who was fooled.

Yao
I was watching highlights on the Rocket’s game yesterday on ESPN at lunch. I see a clip of Yao Ming taking the ball behind the back on a defender before dunking the ball. I am not sure who the defender was, but how did he let the 7 foot 5 inch center shake him out of his shoes. Yao Ming definitely fooled that guy.

Tivo
Fellow Rotogod Tivo asked me to stop referring to our five readers. Honestly, I do not know how many readers we have at this point. It could be five, fifty, or five hundred. Unfortunately until I get a calculation on how many people actually read our website, I will continue to refer to the faithful five. Any attempt to convince me otherwise would be … well … foolish and futile.

In an attempt to keep it brief, the Doctor will stop there. I could go on for days about the foolish and foolhardy, but our five readers might want to read it before work. Dr. Furious will be sending out a petition to nominate April Fools Day as a national holiday. If you get the petition please sign it, we could all use an extra day off from work. Actually since I am currently unemployed, I get every day off, so I am really looking out for you all. It is Friday and Furious plans to remain sober all day. If you believe that, then the joke is definitely on you. Drunken lunch will happen in T-minus 4 hours and twenty minutes. If you can drink at lunch, I highly recommend you do so. If not, there is always Happy Hour.

-- Written by Dr Furious on April 01, 2005