The Morning Offering - Feb. 10, 2005
Written by Father Time on February 10, 2005
Good Morning, my pizzeeps. This offering will be short and sweet, as I am writing the sumbitch with a broken finger, so it takes me longer. And if that makes me a lazy pile of poo, so be it. It’s nice to be lazy. And to be poo.
Oh how I REALLY hope the NHL Season survives! Can they please fucking end this. They keep telling us they are in the final days of deciding whether the season can be salvaged. For the sanity of the 99.9% of Americans who don’t give a shit, just make a decision and be done with it.
Curses! I need not tell you that if you have a keeper who reports to camp “in the best shape of his career,” you are truly fucked. Only one thing can save your season: Fedex the guy 50 pounds of Funyons immediately. No living human can resist such a temptation.
Pedro, the role model? Whaddafuck? Now he’s showing up early for camp? Oh, Boston must just looooove that shit. And why did I see Piazza following him around with a rubber ball head strap and a bottle of chloroform?
Rookie grades: Maybe I was seduced by last year’s class, but so far this season’s rookies look relatively ordinary. I’ll give you Okafor, who looks like a double/double machine. And Howard has had spurts of potential. But you’re not getting any stars out of this class. At least not yet. I would like to see a healthy Shaun Livingston for an entire season, though. And I do have a thing for Tony Allen.
I feel a .500 season from the Brewers this year. Which I’ll take. Hey, if they played in the Atlantic Division, they could be in first like the shitty Smelldicks. What a joke.
Shorter than usual? Sure.
The same good old Father Time material? Abso-friggin-lutely.
Posted by: Xach at February 10, 2005 01:45 AM