The Morning Offering: Feb. 9, 2005

Written by The Fool on February 09, 2005

Good Morning! I have Cap’n Crunch Swirled Berries; do you?

I’d like to buy a meow
The Super Bowl was three days ago, but I’d be remiss if I failed to point out my favorite commercial. AmeriQuest Mortgage’s ad with the cat, tomato sauce and large knife had The Fool laughing loudly (and no, I don’t blame the beer). What troubles me is I couldn’t remember whose ad it was or what it was trying to tell me . . . just that the curious cat and the dude who appeared to be killing it made me chortle.

Speaking of the Super Bowl . . .
Dave Letterman had a couple good zingers on Monday night in his “Top Ten Philadelphia Eagles’ excuses.” (check them out on the show’s Web site). The Fool’s fave was No. 6. "Oh, suddenly referees are too good to take bribes?!" And no, “Our QB had an upset tummy” was not one of the 10 on the list.

Lineups, set!
A few of the stories about Magglio Ordonez signing with the Detroit Tigers have made the point that Ordonez, the former White Sox slugger, was the last “marquee” free agent on the market. And they’re right, unless you’re waiting to see where Mo Vaughn or David Segui land (prediction: nowhere safe). This also means you can start crunching on those cheat sheets and draft boards for your fantasy baseball draft. The rosters you see now shouldn’t change too much, aside from a minor trade or surprise spring performance. Some leagues will start drafting soon, believe it or not; The Fool’s big keeper league draft is one month from now.

Maybe by then, the 2005 Rotogods Death Pool Draft should be over
There are basically two rounds left, but three of those picks belong to the always hard to nail down (and quite possibly insane) Beagle, and two more belong to the sensitive Ape, whose home computer is actually a minifridge filled with bananas and basketball shoes. Once the draft is over, The Fool will post a full draft board with teams and analysis. Maybe we’ll even let the Knitting Poolers chime in; by then those RotoGirls will have finished making each other’s new dresses.

Feel good story of the day
This English tabloid headline grabs ya: RUGBY FAN CUTS OFF OWN TESTICLES. The Mirror reports: Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would triumph he told friends at a social club: "If Wales win I'll cut my balls off." Guess who won?

Did you know Cap'n Crunch’s name was Horatio? You do now.

If you have a comment, question or idea for the Fantasy Fool, e-mail him.

-- Written by The Fool on February 09, 2005