The Morning Offering - Jan. 28, 2005

Written by The Fool on January 28, 2005

The Fool’s here on this freaky Friday for your fantasy fix!

And how about last week’s football picks?
Yikes! Do you even want The Fool to weigh in on the Super Bowl? But at least I can give a more definitive answer than the Terrell Owens Medical Group.

Another reason The Fool doesn’t run an NBA team
The Fool had a brilliant idea at the end of the last NBA campaign, as the hometown Wizards wrapped up another stinker of a season: Trade something, someone, anything, for Allen Iverson. The thinking was that the Wizards would suck regardless, so we might as well have some fun and fill the seats while doing so. Fast forward to two nights ago, when the Wizards played sans two starters (Larry Hughes and the mercurial Kwame Brown) but still whooped the 76ers, who played without a dinged-up Iverson. The Wizards have run their way to one of the best records in the East, thanks to a draft-day theft of Antawn Jamison from the Mavericks. Iverson and the 76ers own a losing record.

Waiting for the Suns
The Phoenix Suns are winning a lot of games, but they aren’t doing it with defense. While Steve Nash, Amare and ‘em blow teams off the court, your fantasy players on the other team are likely having a great night as well. In January, not counting the games Nash missed (while also proving he’s a top MVP candidate), Suns opponents have scored 100 points or more in seven of 11 games, win or lose. In December, it was nine out of 15 for Suns opponents hitting the century mark. Just this past week, the Bucks had five players reach double figures in a loss to Phoenix; the Knicks had five in double figures in a loss, including a season-high 40 from Jamal Crawford; and the Nets also had five double-figure scorers, led by Vinsanity with 32 points and Jason Kidd, who nearly had another triple double to go with a few stolen French fries. So if you see the Suns on the schedule, get your guys in the lineup.

Addition to the Rotogods glossary
Mr. Clean: An NBA player who delivers in one or two categories, but gives you little or no other fantasy value.

The classic example of Mr. Clean from The Fool’s college daze was Reggie Miller, the Pacers shooting-off-at-the-mouth guard who would drop 20 points every night – and that’s it. Cheryl’s brother has career averages of three rebounds and three assists per game, and he’ll get his 300th blocked shot – of his career – sometime this year. Maybe.

Bulls center Eddy Curry, always ready and willing to disappoint, is attempting to take over the moniker at the right time, as Reggie must retire one of these years. Curry has – or lacks, depending on how you look at it – the numbers to back it up. This 6-foot-11, 300 pound “Baby Shaq” has turned his scoring up a notch, averaging 18 a game in January and nearly 16 a game for the season. But you know how many double-digit rebound games Curry has had? Try five. FIVE, for a freak that size, is ridiculous. The man child averages fewer than six rebounds a game and somehow less than a blocked shot per contest.

Eddy Curry, I don thee. . . . Mr. Clean!

Quote of the Week
"This really isn't a game we really should be proud of. This game is like taking your kids to the zoo. ... You're supposed to take your kids to the zoo. You're a father. So a team like that, we're supposed to beat them like this."
-- Miami's Shaquille O'Neal, stealing a bit from Chris Rock’s standup routine, after last Sunday night's 97-68 whoopin’ of the Hornets.

Enjoy your winter weekend. And whatever you do, if you’re invited to a Lemon Party. . . . don’t go. Just trust The Fool on this one.

If you have a comment, question or idea for the Fantasy Fool, e-mail him.

-- Written by The Fool on January 28, 2005