The Morning Offering - Jan 27, 2005

Written by Dr Furious on January 27, 2005

It is Thursday morning and I'm already pissed off. For those not acquainted with the styles of Dr. Furious, this is something that should come as no surprise. Now let me tell you why I'm mad. In addition to the 2 to 3 feet of snow the greater Boston area just received (blizzard style), God felt that we needed a few more inches. My roommate, being the Yankee lovin, Connecticut raised, bitch-ass punk that he is, decided to disconnect the router in my house, so I no longer have a home Internet connection. My boss is a spineless weasel, who will lie, cheat, and steal to make himself look good, which comes at the expense of his staff (especially me). Needless to say, I've got a little hate to dispense. If you ainšt down with that, you might want to stop reading here and dedicate this time to brewing your morning coffee.

Fantasy tidbits
Allan (Hollywood) Houston, being the little homo that he is, missed his third straight game. With the return of Jamal Crawford, Houston is no longer a good fantasy option. He should only be used if you're absolutely desperate for three-pointers, which is the only category besides free-throw percentage that he's good for.

On the bright side, Grant Hill is playing despite a bum wrist. He will be playing in pain until the All-Star break, when he will finally have some time to let the injury heal. Hey, at least the injury is not foot or knee related. Any Hill owners should take some comfort in this fact.

Baseball commentary
One question mark for the upcoming season is what numbers Javier Vazquez will put up. He is back in the National League, in a city where the pressure to win is about the same as it was in Montreal. Will Javy Digital rediscover his 2003 form to the tune of a 3.50 ERA and 200 k's? Or will he just suck? My prediction: He'll suck slightly less than he did last year. My reasoning is that God hates me and does not want my keepers to do well.

Even more Pats-Steelers banter
I'm so happy that the Pats took care of business. I hate the Steelers with a passion. Worthlessberger was exposed by the Jet defense, who got front row seats to see Doug Brien hand the game to Steelers. The Jets should have been getting clobbered by the Pats, not the Steelers. I bet the game would have been much more entertaining, even if it wasn't closer. We might have even gotten another shot of Herm Edwards yelling at yet another member of the coaching staff (preferably Hackett this time).

A brief digression
Has anyone seen the new Nike commercial featuring Worthlessberger? What the hell were they thinking? The special effects are cool. I like that Pujols and Tomlinson are featured. I like that the commercial is a little dark and edgy. But the execution leaves a lot to be desired. I don't really buy the masks that they use at the end. And again, Worthelessberger is representing Nike already? Are you kidding? Which Nike brain proposed this? I mean the kid is not that good. He's really not. Get Chad P up in that piece...or better yet, Brady.

Coffee vs tea
I have grown to accept the fact that I love and need coffee in the morning. I decided to go with tea this morning, a nice Earl Grey blend. Another hate-inspiring move on my part, because it's not working out.

Alright, I think enough hate has been dispensed. I hope you enjoyed the offering. If you didn't, go to hell. Get you some coffee, print this piece out, and get your ass to work. If I have to be there, trudging through the snow, then so should you.

-- Written by Dr Furious on January 27, 2005