The Morning Offering - Jan. 20, 2005

Written by The Fool on January 20, 2005

Where on Earth is my coffee? It’s early!

Only in D.C.?
The Fool had an e-mail awaiting him this morning with the subject “Heading to any balls?”

Perhaps a sack of small gems
Yesterday morning, Xach alluded to the Esteban Loaiza signing by the Washington Nationals in the first Morning Offering. For the Nationals, it’s small change ($2.9 million for a year) late in free agency for a pitcher who has gone to the last two All Star games (and he didn’t need a ticket). For your fantasy baseball team, he could be a steal similar to the one he was two years ago, perhaps with fewer wins. Loaiza told The Washington Post yesterday that his arm was tired when he got to New York last season. Also, keep in mind he’ll be pitching in the National League in cavernous, renovated RFK Stadium: 335 down the lines and 410 in center field. It’s a reach. Buy low on Loaiza, and it could pay off big time. Now if only we could explain those strikeouts in 2003 (207 in 226 1/3 innings).

Last night, fucked around and got a triple double
The Fool certainly doesn’t have to sell you on LeBron James, but the kid’s latest milestone is worth noting. The King became the youngest player in NBA history to record a triple double last night, scoring 27 points, grabbing 11 rebounds and dishing 10 assists – this just six days after missing his first by an assist. Lamar Odom held the previous “youngest player to record a triple double” mark, but that was many bong hits ago – you know he doesn’t remember. But check out the fella who had the next three youngest triple doubles, back in the 1979-80 season: rookie Earvin “Magic” Johnson. After two years, LeBron is already scoring more than Magic ever did, though the rest of his game is still rounding into shape. But it’s fair to compare the two at this point. And LeBron has many other triple doubles coming his way. The real question: Will LeBron make a better coach?

More movement
A few NFL running backs could be on the move in the offseason. Travis Henry, a Fool favorite, wants to play elsewhere and the Buffalo Bills will surely accommodate him; consider the Miami Dolphins and Arizona Cardinals as favorites from a group of suitors that also includes the Raiders, Panthers and Buccaneers. Same goes for Reuben Droughns, who along with agent Drew Rosenhaus (one of the reasons Henry no longer is the starter in Buffalo) has worked out an agreement with the Broncos that allows him to seek a trade. He rushed for 1,240 yards last season. And don’t forget about old timers such as Marshall Faulk, all but usurped in St. Louis by rookie Steven Jackson, and Jerome Bettis, enjoying a glorious run in Pittsburgh at the expense of Duce Staley. Bettis won’t likely play elsewhere, but it bears watching. Another backfield situation to keep an eye on: the New York Jets, where backup Lamont Jordan wants to start. He’ll get his chance, but probably not on Mr. Hoffa’s turf.

Burger? I don’t even know her!
The world of competitive eating may have a new star, or at least a great white hope. And of course it’s a tiny little girl. That’s right, skinny white girls who can destroy a buffet are moving in on skinny Asian girls, if the eating success of Kate Stelnick, 19, of Princeton, N.J., tells us anything. Kate, all 100 pounds of her, drove five hours with a friend to Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub in Clearfield, Penn., to tackle Ye Old 96er – a 6 pound burger with all the fixins (a large onion, two whole tomatoes, a half head of lettuce, 1 1/4 pounds of cheese and a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, relish, banana peppers and some pickles). No one had finished the monster in the required 3-hour limit, not even relatively famous competitive eater Eric “Badlands” Booker; Kate downed it in 2:54. Sounds hard to believe, I know; just wait until you see the photos .

Today
The Fool hopes the hockey negotiations fall flat . . . that Steve Francis can make it through tonight’s game against the Rockets without crying . . . that everyone takes the Metro to the coronation downtown . . . that the snow holds off until the weekend . . . that the commute takes less – perhaps half – as long as the 4-plus hours it took yesterday.

If not, please, just aim one of those rocket launchers at my car, thanks.

This weekend
The Fool is picking the Pittsburgh Steelers and Atlanta Falcons to advance to the Super Bowl – picks none to popular here in Rotogods land, where we’re littered with too many Patriots and Eagles fans. But lets be honest one Eagles fan – so proud of his ability to boo Santa, get booked in his home stadium and spell the name of a six-lettered bird at the top of his chest – is too many, isn’t it?

My coffee’s ready. This offering’s late. But you’ve been great. Enjoy.

If you have a comment, question or idea for the Fantasy Fool, e-mail him.

-- Written by The Fool on January 20, 2005